Congratulations by definition means: praise: an expression of approval and commendation or an expression of joy in the success or good fortune of another. Now before I begin my thoughts, please do not feel bad for using these words over the last few days and I'm only writing this because of a book I read recently that brought this subject up, it's made me ponder and giggle.
Like it was stated in the book, for rainbow pregnancies the word congratulations should not be used when announcing ones pregnancy. The reason being is that the word congratulations should be saved for when the baby safely arrives. If you tell someone congratulations when they announce their pregnancy you are really congratulating them for "gettin r done" as one medical resident said to us a few weeks ago (we had a good laugh) Your really saying, good job, you know how to procreate, way to make the sperm meet the egg because most people announce their pregnancy around 12 weeks and at that point it really is only a matter of sperm meeting egg. When a mother successfully delivers a baby that is when the word congratulations should be said as it carries a lot more meaning as the woman has endured something that she should be congratulated for.
Reading about this a few days ago made me giggle but in a sense it really does make well...sense! Now I read this before I announced we were pregnant and of course once we announced it the congrats started rolling in and I was laughing because all I could think about was this book and how when people say congrats so early they really are telling you that you did a great job at having sex which resulted in a baby. I mean really, if you think about it, it's true. I'm sure some women don't want to be told congratulations (like initially I felt with this pregnancy) and I can really see their point of view. Like the book said, at this point, there really is nothing to congratulate a woman for, other than her ability to know how to make a baby. I really did not want to hear this world at the very beginning because I felt like I didn't have something to be congratulated for. I felt like, once I delivered a healthy baby then I could be congratulated, like the book pointed out. But my mind has since changed and I'm happy Bee is alive and doing well and we want to celebrate her no matter how short her stay is with us (though we are praying it's a long one) Or him, I keep saying her but I really feel it is a girl. Now when people say congrats I laugh because I think about me being praised for my ability to make a baby or "get r done" Seriously, when the medical resident said that we busted up laughing.
So please don't feel offended for having said congratulations, I'm glad you all wish to recognize Stephen and mine's ability to successfully know what we are doing during sex to make a baby. It's a good laugh for us. But in all seriousness, I do pray we hear those words in 24 weeks for accomplishing a mighty fearful task. And sorry if I made anyone squirm by using the word sex but that's what it takes to make a baby!
And YAH, we are officially 12 weeks (or were yesterday but we go by today's date)
P.S. To clarify, I do always say her but we have no idea if Bee is sporting a hamburger or hotdog and won't know for a few more weeks. I just feel it is and most of the dreams I have had were of a little girl....but alas, we must wait (and we don't even know if we want to find out this time.....) we are just focused on a healthy baby and I will continue to refer to Bee as she until we know and then....well, we'll see. If we decide to find out, we may keep it a secret. But as of right now we don't know which summer BBQ item Bee is sporting.
I also got an overwhelming sense of peace today that this time everything will be alright. It just hit me as I was putting away laundry. I hope those feelings come more often, I must prefer those to the shear terror and panic I usually feel!
Oh and I REALLY wanted to post a picture but our camera finally bit the dust and is not working...this will have to be solved fairly quickly as I do not want to miss picture chances because I know how important they are, if anyone who reads this knows a bit about cameras, we are looking for something fairly cheap but still a good camera (we will be taking lots of pictures) I fully expect it to be at least over $200 for a better camera, let me know if you have any suggestions.