Well we made it to 13 weeks....at least as far as I know. I think the fur babies have a new game called make mom gag. I'm very very gaggy in the morning, I don't know why but I am incredibly sensitive to smells. It seems the last few weeks I have been very gaggy (or maybe I just notice it more) that when I am about to go in the bathroom to get ready for work one of the fur babes take a big crap and stinks up the whole room, so there I stand gagging, trying to plug my nose and not breathe for a few minutes while I attempt to get ready. It really is a sight to see!
I had a disturbing pregnant dream last night. Stephen and I were waiting at the doctors (our high risk OB) to get checked out and a friend had come along with us. Well because when the doctor came in the friend had all these questions the doctor got called to an emergency before he could see us and he said the wait would be 4 hours and then he told us he couldn't see us that day and I was heartbroken because it was our important kidney scan week. So we were walking through the hospital and it started to shake and I mean really shake. We thought it was an earth quake at first but it wasn't, we realized the building was collapsing so we were trying very hard to get outside (we were on the 5th floor) we finally made it outside and ran out hearts out to get away from the falling building. It then collapsed with our doctor and a bunch of pregnant women in there. Then for some reason there was a kiddy train that went around the parameter of the hospital and we got on and rode by the building and we could see into the rooms where all the pregnant women had been killed and I thought to myself, why couldn't they have been saved? They weren't crushed, they could have hidden under the tables to protect themselves. It was just disturbing to me to see all these dead pregnant women. Plus, my doctor was in there and I was sad we'd have to find another doctor and no one compares to his awesomeness, seriously, we do have the best high risk OB if I do say so myself. To be honest I did not like him at first but then anyone who told me my son would not live was not in my good books. We did warm up to him and realized his awesomeness.
Anyways, it just disturbed me and gave me the willies! Thankfully, though it as at Victoria hospital, it was in Zone E which we never will be in again so I don't have to worry about it collapsing. I think the more scary thing for me was having to change to a different doctor. I'd lose my mind if we had to do that. Dr. S is in this with us for the long haul and we'd be lost without him! He is one of the reasons I decided I would be willing to try again. I knew he was a great doctor and would be by our side the whole way through (and he schedules it so we can deliver baby when he is on, so no one we don't know will be there)
We ate at Perogie Place tonight (which is good, if your in London, check it out) I had perogies and Bee seems to be perfectly content with them at the present moment and Stephan had this pancake thing filled with Hungarian Goulash.....it was so good! This apple cake I'm having for desert is pretty tasty as well. I love when we go out and find local restaurants that have a difference to them, like TJ Addias Ababa Ethiopian food....seriously if you are in London, you HAVE to check that place out! The Canadian Pupersia house is also good. We still have not made it to Currys but we have had food at the festivals during the summer from there and it was delic. We'll have to go soon as our Groupon expires soon, I guess I can stick to samosas if the tum is not feeling the best.
Today I noticed that again I was hungry so much that it made me sick. But the issue is I'm not really hungry for anything. I have been able to eat a bit more and I'm hoping this stays like this so I can start to gain some weight. Though my doctor did say as long as the baby is growing on track my weight gain isn't much an an issue. With Ty I lost weight then gained a ton at the end. With Jacob I gained in the beginning and didn't stop...so this one is in the middle. At least I know this time I'm not gaining fat like I did with Jacob, so far it is all baby.
I can't wait to see Bee next, I think as of right now, I will be okay waiting the full four weeks (given something doesn't happen) but I feel confident right now that I can do it. I am dreading the next appointment, I don't know if I am emotionally ready for it's outcome. We should know at that point if it is life or death or have a really good indication of which way it is looking. I'm trying not to think about it and instead focus on the good coming in the next few weeks but it is hard. It's the biggest fear I have right now because its something we can't control. We could have possible saved Ty had there been a more proactive medical treatment which there will be this time but what happened with Jacob, as unexplainable as it is, I can't do anything. I've learned I don't have much control but it's a hard bit to swallow.
And now since it is Friday night and Stephen and I are young and vibrant, we are going to bed and we both intend on sleeping in (assuming my body lets me sleep past 7am)