30 Weeks 5 Days: Today we got to see Bee again, well I did, by the time the tech was done, my almost hour was up so Stephen wasn't able to come in. The only reason it took awhile was because we had to wait for breathing. We know at this point if the baby doesn't breathe it's not the end of the world, we are well aware of that but that meant I got to lay there for about 25 minutes and just watch Bee....I tried so hard not to lose it with the tears because it was so bittersweet. Bee's ultrasound went great, I got to see every little part that is Bee, saw some wiggling, kicking, opening hands, couldn't see the eyes or lips as Bee is yet again turned in, but that was okay, I got to see lots. Bee is back to being transverse, was head down last week, so I fully expect Bee to be another C-section, yes I know Bee could still move but I think Bee knows how tough that decision will be so Bee is not going to give us a choice.
Bee is 3lbs 6oz and measuring 16inches long. The tech asked if we had had any steroid shots and I said no and asked why and she said that once Bee started breathing movements they were exceptionally well for a 30 weeker. I told her it must be from all those hiccups, preparing the little lungs for early entry into the world. Bee passed the BPP 8/8, cord flow looks superb and growth is at 30 Weeks (still only 5 days behind but in medical land that is of absolutely NO concern) Everything is still looking great and after a visit with our social worker, my anxiety is a bit better...not by much as it's horrific these days but it did help. We made a plan for me to get in with the psychiatrist now and make a plan in case I have post partum. We are getting other appointments set up as well with our social worker for after Bee is born to make sure I am checking in with a professional outside the home to see if they notice any changes. We decided having this in place was the best option to prevent anything from happening or getting really bad. I am worried about how I may react, on top of the normal emotions and hormones I'll have to deal with grief and possibly post partum so we feel better taking the steps now to get things into place.
We have our next 4 appointments scheduled, going every week now and on our 4th appointment we may very well be admitted, but that's up for discussion at the 3rd appointment. Yes for all that can do math that means I only have 4 weeks until I am in the hospital and only 5 weeks until Bee is possibly here....AHHHHH
Bee waving Hi! The tech kept commenting on how chubby the little fingers were...yahh for chubby fingers! Trying to fatten Bee up as much as possibly. I think Bee will be our biggest baby yet.