There seems to be the need to compare loss in the world of the bereaved and I don't understand why people do it. Yes, I've had two full term losses but please don't ever lessen your loss because your baby was only 7 weeks. No matter what point in your pregnancy you experienced your loss, don't ever say, oh I was only a few weeks in, or thankfully I was only a few weeks in. Validate it, feel those feelings. No matter if you've had one miscarriage at 4 weeks, 10 miscarriages between 2-16 weeks, a fatal diagnosis in utero, a stillborn, a neonatal death, a child who died when they were a toddler, teen or even young adult. Loss is loss and my full term losses could be just as devastating as your 4 week miscarriage. I don't like the comparisons, I rather we just surround each other in love and support. The moment you found out you were pregnant you already loved that child. You already wanted that child, though you may not have felt it yet, it was there.
No matter if you had the chance to hold your child in your hands or only your heart. They were and still are your children, don't ever down play that. I don't understand why we feel we have to judge loss and it surely does not need to exist at such a fragile time. No one loss is greater than another, though you may feel that way. I've had countless people tell me my loss was something they could never imagine getting through, that they are blessed to have only had one loss. Yes, people have told me they are thankful and have been blessed to only have one loss and all I can say to them is that their loss was just as significant as my loses.
Please don't ever lessen your loss, please validate your feelings no matter what kind of loss you experienced. We are all here to love and support each other and there should be no judgement on when your loss occurred.
As for asking me how we got through it a second time (which many say they never could) we got through it like we did the first time, because we had to. We didn't have a choice, we had to take what we were dealt with head on. I can say, having been through it twice seems to have given a lot of people hope and faith and I am thankful that my heartache has provided healing in others. I don't want Ty and Jacob's deaths to be in vain so however they see fit to let their legacy live on through helping others, we are along for the ride.
But tonight, lets all take a moment to validate ALL loss. No matter what it may be, how far along you were, how many times it has happened, let's not pass judgement and instead, let's just love.