23 Weeks: I cannot believe it has been almost 4 weeks since our last appointment, though the days seemed impossibly long, IT'S BEEN 4 WEEKS!!!! AHHH where did the time go. I'm thankful that they seemed to have quietly passed by without any major freak outs, minus ones that have nothing to do with Bee but right now I am ridding my life of any stressors. I need my peace, I need my quiet. I need to focus on Bee, reduce my stress for herim's health. That pretty much means being a recluse which I'm okay with at this time. I need to do what I need to do to get through because this whole journey is terrifying so being in my peaceful zone is what I look forward to each and everyday. Plus, one more week until we reach the age of viability which is a huge milestone for us, maybe not for people who have not had loss but it's one of those sighs of relief for a baby loss mama. It adds to the peace.
We get to see another peak of Bee on Tuesday, as thrilled as I am, I'm still scared. Scared to know we could walk in and she/he could be gone. Oh and don't even get me started on having to be there for my appointment at 7am! Who makes a pregnant lady get up so early? Do they not know we need our sleep, especially me who has been drained of every single ounce of energy I have and can only really manage on an as needed basis. Our Dr doesn't even get in until 9 so we'll be at the hospital for a good chunk of the morning (social worker is at 10:30) Just another long day at the hospital but I am thankful for these days, they make me feel better to know we have such a good team looking out for us. I'll also be getting my iron tested and honestly, I hope its low so they can fix this exhaustion problem I seem to have. I was fine by this point with both the boys, minus Ty around 25 weeks when my iron was low with him too...which makes me wonder if it is. Add on the dizzy and lightheaded feelings, really hoping it is my iron because if I am this tired until Bee arrives..it's going to be a challenge. It already is but I know I'll hit my point much sooner then I am planning on.
We are sitting here trying a new tea. I've never been a big tea drinker but it's something I'm getting into. My fav, Passion Tea from Tazo is the best but it's a no no during pregnancy due to some of the herbs they use. I'm trying to like peppermint and mixed in with hot chocolate it is really good but tonight we are trying pumpkin spice from Timmie's. A fall favourite. It's not too flavourful or sugary and I really like the after taste, though it feels like I'm just licking a fall scented Yankee candle. We are undecided on if we like it or not. But we'll give it a shot and perhaps try again because it's not horrible that's for sure and it makes a great drink to go with the pumpkin spice muffin. I am happy it is a tea I can drink though since I am so limited between caffeine and the different herbs, this is why I stick to water!
Those are all the updates for now, mat pictures should be done in the next few days and appointment on Tuesday but other then that we are just hanging in. That's all we can do. Getting comfortable in our peace zone, ridding stress, doing whatever we possibly can to make sure Bee is ready.