You may have noticed the new addition to our home and blog page. At the suggestion of many, I decided to add a donate button. We are trying to raise funds to cover my medical expenses as they are not covered by insurance (naturopath, acupuncture, chiro, counseling). All of these services have done amazing things as far as my PTSD goes but I still have a long way to go. The decision was made with my psychiatrist that I am unable to return to work at this point due to my PTSD which will leave us with one small income. I don't expect much, even $5 or $10 can help out. But it's there if you would like to help out.
In other news, Bee has grown so much in the last two weeks! It was like she hit 9 months and decided she needed to grow up. She went from just army crawling to properly crawling on all 4, pulling herself up, standing by herself and walking (while holding onto things). I also spot some teeth starting to peak through! It's been a fun week sleep wise, or lack thereof but I can't deny that I LOVE my midnight snuggles and yes I'm exhausted and I'd love to sleep but I know these midnight snuggles won't last much longer. I can sleep when shes 15!
She truly is the light of my life and I hope I can give her the world. I hope I can show her life and what it's all about and help her hold onto the innocence she has. We won't have a big fancy house but we will have something much more valuable, love and memories. If we've learned anything from the boys death it's that material things do not matter (though realistically to grow our family we will need to move into a bigger house or at least a full house with a basement, nothing fancy smancy). I want to be able to garden with her, create a compost, build a tree fort, lay out in our hammock looking up at the sky, plant an apple tree and eat fresh picked apples right from our tree. I want to be able to sit outside at night and have bonfires, roast marshmallows and hotdogs. I want her to indulge in smores and stay up past her bedtime while we tell stories around the campfire. I want this for all the children that come into our life, however that may be. I want a house that foster kids can feel is truly their home, even if for a short time. I want people to come over and feel so welcome that they sit back and put their feet up on the table (which we don't mind, it's comfy).
I know we have a long way to go and we have a lot of work to put in but I know it will make it more worthwhile when we get there. I just wish I could find the energy to do more. I still have many days where I feel defeated and I don't feel like doing anything (which is hard when trying to write a book). Sigh.....oh life, are you ready to give us a break yet? Our vacation was so amazing but now we are back to reality.