As much as I had an amazing time on our vacation and as much as we are still dealing with this one unresolved issue here that is causing so much stress, I am glad to be home. One of the things I promised Bee was that her and I would start doing more things. Now that the weather is nice, I want to make sure we are out more. We've only been back a week but so far we have been out for a walk everyday, that included playing at the park, we've went to the library to sign up for cards and take out some books and cds (of course we've also had dance parties listening to the cds), we had a playgroup and Bee loved seeing her "Car Car" best guy friend (one of them), Bee had her feet properly measured so I could get some shoes that actually fit her feet, we went grocery shopping, went to the market, visited Pioneer Village for a few hours (of which I am sure we will do lots) and ate lots of ice cream.
It's so nice to be able to spend time with her. It's so nice to be getting out of the house, even if I have to force myself. It is a step in the right direction for both of us. We are pushing our boundaries little by little and we are both thankful we have a steady home to come back to if its all too much.
I can't say things are great here, a lot is going on and we are trying to work through it all, but the important thing is that we are working through things and I have given some of the control over to others to handle since it's all too much for me. I have been put in a very weak, vulnerable and emotional state so I need to have others help me, as much as I want to do everything myself.
Our trip was truly amazing, eye opening, refreshing and perhaps I will write about it one day but I am still shaken from the near death plane crash we experienced. No lies, not exaggerating, our plane almost crashed on take off. Have any of you seen Mayday? Its a tv show about plane crashes. They often show planes thrashing from side to side, taking nose dives, people are screaming and crying, the lights flicker etc...that actually happened to us. I was crying and shaking, people were screaming, trying to protect Bee as much as I possibly could, all I could think was how happy and innocent she was and that hell or high water, if we were going down, I was going to try to save her life, even if it meant me giving mine to protect her. It was the most terrifying few moments of my life and I am so thankful I am still here to write about it, lets just say we wont be boarding anymore planes anytime soon. You know, because my fear of flying wasn't hard enough before, now this had to happen......having a near death incident really affects people.