I can't believe it's been 5 days since I last blogged. It just doesn't feel right, but in a good way, its because not much has been going on....until yesterday. Yesterday we officially made trip number 3 to L and D. The last few days my stomach has been in a funk again (I know it's just nerves because I feel stressed when I feel really sick) Anyways, I took a gravol the night before and thought nothing of it. Bee usually still does fine when I take gravol and I know it's still perfectly safe for me to take (trust me I asked MANY times) I woke up yesterday and just felt a bit off. I got ready for church and noticed that Bee was not moving as much as Bee normally does. We went to church and still I noticed Bee wasn't moving as much (Bee was still moving though) so as we were leaving I told Stephen it may be an L and D kind of day. My plan was to come home and do everything I could to get Bee moving well.
I will admit, I am a stickler for kick counts, I don't count soft gentle movements that could be mistaken as gas or muscle twitches, I need big reassuring kicks to count them and lots of them. I got home, ate, had a cold drink and waited. Nothing....so I went and laid down and it took Bee 50 minutes to get 10 kicks in. Now for any who know about kick counts this is still well under the two hours they require for concern but for a mother who has already lost a baby due to stillbirth this is too long. Not only that, Bee always passes within 20 and the other thing I don't get is that when you go to the hospital to have an NST your baby has to have 10 kicks in under 40 minutes there or it gets further assessed so I go by the 40 minute rule to be safe. I decided to wait an hour, eat some sugary things and try again. I tried laying down, sitting up, juice, music, light....everything but after the second time I tried a kick count and an hour had passed with only 4 kicks it was time to go in.
Stephen came and picked me up and we headed to the hospital. We debated going because there was a memorial service last night for Bereaved Families that we really wanted to go to but due to the fact that 1. Bee was not moving well and 2. I didn't mention but I was having severe pain, menstrual like cramps we decided we'd go and try to be in and out as quick as possible. I may not have been as concerned with Bee's movements because I know Bee has quiet days but with the horrible cramping I decided it was a good idea.
We arrived and actually had to wait for a room (we thought that meant we could be in and our quickly or this was going to take awhile) The poor girl who came in to check in after us walks in and the nurse asks her how she can help, she looks down at her pants (of which were soaked) and said ummm...my water broke lol.....It was funny but it made me realize I will never have that, my water will never spontaneously break due to being induced. So we checked in and were admitted. Then the part I hate happened, trying to find the heartbeat, which always seems to take hours when really its only a few seconds. But the nurse found it and it was in the 140's. They hooked the heartbeat monitor up and the contraction monitor and our wait began. Within about an hour the res doc came to see us and did a BPP which took Bee about 30 minutes to finish (thanks little one for scaring the shit out of me, you need to wake up sooner next time!) Anyways, Bee passed and was happily kicking away the minute we got hooked up and most of last night (and this morning as well). So Bee is content, heartrate dropped twice which of course caused my heart to almost stop but I was told it is perfectly normal if it lasts under 30 seconds (of which it lasted like a second if that) But still, not what this nervous terrified mama wanted to see.
Now the interesting part......those horrible cramps I was having, you contractions. I am having "real" mild contractions, not braxton hicks, not gas, real contractions. Since they were very sporadic and didn't last long I didn't need any meds or anything. I'm just to keep an eye on them and if they get worse go in then. They wanted to do the Fetal Fiber Nectin test again but we said no. I did not want my vag to be in pain during the Christmas service for the boys. Not only that but the last two times it was pointless, at this point if it came back positive all they would do was schedule more appointments and more follow ups but at this point we already are so it just didn't seem worth it, plus we had somewhere to be and since Bee was fine and my contractions weren't getting stronger or longer we decided and so did our doctor, we'd just wait. Our doctor was actually the doctor on call last night so we did ask him what he thought before we left but he said he wasn't worried and that since we see him Friday anyways we could check more then. Of course he said if they get worse to come back and he'd check me (since he is still on call this morning) but so far today they are okay. I didn't have any that kept me up at night so today I'm going to make sure I am hydrated and not doing too much work.
So it was a rather interesting day and did I mention how painful the contractions were? Forget this all natural method, I may need the epi afterall, those things hurt like no other!!! We headed to the Candle Light Service afterwords and it was nice, nice to see our grieving family and spend some time remembering the boys. Tears were shed, cookies were ate and we called it an early night. I don't know if you know this but being up worrying, stressing and fearful all day is completely exhausting! I couldn't stop yawning I was so tired.
Other than that, things are going. The house is slowly starting to come together. 3 rooms done, 3 to go. The only complaint about this place I have is that occasionally when we use the dryer it blows the fuse so we are left without power on one side of the house until the lady downstairs gets home. Thankfully it's the side that doesn't matter and we can still cook, bathe and use the internet. Our landlord is going to look into getting circuit breakers up here for us so we can avoid this problem. Doctor's appointment tomorrow and it's a big one because we have a long list of questions and hopefully we can talk about some delivery dates. Bee also has a BPP and I'm hoping Bee passes quickly, I don't need anymore scares! Pre-admit app was well, I guess I better get the paperwork out and fill it in...ughhh....and then some more unpacking because I don't know how much longer I'm going to last with sanity at home so I'd like to get this house in order asap! Of course it does pose problems when I need to rest as well but I'll work until I notice contractions then stop. Only 3 more weeks (or 4 if Bee moves, but as of last night Bee is still nice and nestled head down, which also explains the extreme ligament and vaginal pain and pressure I have....) Have I mentioned I am ready to meet Bee and hopefully it is alive!