19 weeks 5 days: Picture #1. I love this one, for those who can see ultrasounds and decipher them, if you look Bees little leg is bending and the foot is curled upwards. It reminds me of a Ballerina pose....or a..ummm...maybe soccer kick if Bee's a boy...
Picture #2. When I look at this one I see Bee saying (with hand by mouth as if coughing) Ahem...do you mind leaving me alone...Thanks!
In other news I broke the...well the news at work (to my boss for now) It did not go how I thought it would go in my mind but most things never go how my mind thinks they will. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is bad and sometimes it's just, well it just is what it is. The damage has been done and I can't say I feel very confident in my announcement. But like I said, it is what it is and only time will tell the outcome. All I can do is work my behind off to prove it was still a good decision and make it known I have every intention of coming back if they will have me. But talk about emotions, every since my break down at the social workers yesterday (which was very needed) I can't stop crying. Everything makes me cry, every little thing makes me sad or upset or fearful. I guess when you hold it in so long and then it all comes out it can take a few days sometimes.
I slept like poo last night, my stomach was in so much pain from the attack on my belly yesterday I could not sleep. It's very sore today as well but Bee seems to be ignorant to what took place yesterday afternoon and the what felt like a piano being dropped on my belly from a 10 story building didn't have any effect on the sweet little kicks. The only thing that worries me is that Bee is not a morning kicker. Both the boys were and I loved it because it was very reassuring come morning time but Bee likes to sleep in.
In rather good news are are officially 20 weeks tomorrow which means no more ER visits, we can go straight to L&D if I ever feel something is wrong and I can't get in with the doctor..yahh!!! We made it to yet another milestone. The next one we have set is 24 weeks, the age of viability and also our next appointment (if I don't freak out and have a panic attack and need an appointment in between) Its funny because to me 20 weeks doesn't feel like much but then I think about 24 weeks and shit gets real. Then after 24, 28 but that's as far as I have even slightly thought ahead. Here is to the next 4 weeks of trying to stay sane, no longer having to hide my belly at work and trying to enjoy some fall festivities (as I type this I have an apple pumpkin candle burning) and we do have a lot planned even some day trips and two weddings back to back. We will bee busy and it will help time pass hopefully.