Today we learned that the credit union we bank with will be closing for good come the end of 2014. No big deal right? Well, maybe not for the average Joe but for me, I am distraught! How can such a simple, everyday matter upset me so much? It's because it's a part of the old us. People may not realize how much we cling onto from the old life. We have banked where we are for 5 years now. We know those ladies, they know us. They know about the boys, they know about Bee, they know about our struggles. They are amazing people and I will really miss them. They always love seeing Bee come in, as much as I love bringing her in. We've been blessed to get to know each of them through our various banking tasks. They were there offering their condolences on the death of Ty and Jacob. They are there helping us get our financial matters into better shape. Everything we have invested is through them. Not only financially but through some sort of odd connection. You know the kind of connection you make with bank people you see often, there is such a thing right?
Now we have to start over. That's the funny thing about grief, if you can call it that. It hits when least expected. Such little things can set a person into a whirlwind of emotions because of how it is tied to their grief. I'm stressed, anxious and distraught about the fact that our bank is closing and it's a year away! You'd think with all that time I'd realize things will work out but nope, I'm a ball of emotions. Over a bank....yeah thanks grief!
Thanks for all the messages coming in as well. A lot of you have mentioned EMDR and informed me that it has really helped you out. I just wanted all of you to know I am aware of EMDR and right now I am on a waiting list to get into a program where I live that specializes in EMDR. So, happy to hear it works, thanks for letting me know. Now I just sit and wait for my turn.
If anyone needs me, I'll be enjoying the second round of going viral. So many amazing messages to read through. So many precious angels I get the blessing of seeing, so many stories I get to read. The whole reason behind everything I do is so no one feels alone. We do it so people can see that even in the darkest hour we clung onto hope with all the determination we could and that we kept going and never gave up. Sure we continue to struggle but if we've learned anything it's that we need to keep our head up, look forward, move our feet and keep going. Little by little we go on.
And A warm welcome to all my new followers. Just an FYI, this time of year is never fun for the bereaved so posts may not be as uplifting as they are at other times. No one could have prepared me for the first holidays with our rainbow after the death of our boys. I thought it was tough before but these firsts are killer. Whew!!! Speaking of holidays, one of the photos that didn't make it into the Christmas card finale! Enjoy.