For all the mothers to be out there, just a warning for the sake of anything within 10 feet of the change table. While in the midst of a diaper change beware, babies have this amazing ability to squirt poop at a rather fast and distant rate. We had blow out number 2 on the change table last night which in turn ended our short 20 minute feed and back to bed routine and ended up taking over 1 1/2 to clean everything up (Bee,table, wall, everything else it hit, myself) As gross as it is, it still cracks me up! Baby farts are hilarious as well.
And now that I have talked about a very gross subject, onto church related news (the two couldn't be further apart) We went back to church for the first time today, I should say a church service because we did manage to get out to the pancake supper (evenings are our best time to get out) It felt so incredibly good to be back at church and see everyone. My goal was to make it to either church or vestry meeting (annual budget meeting for our church) well, Bee was so good we made it to both! Last night was not a good night, she seems to be getting up even more at night so we are trying a few new things to see if they help. Anyways, I woke up at 9:45 and by 10:50 we were at church. Now this may not seem like a lot to the normal person, but for those with a wee little one this is truly a miracle! In that time I woke up, showered, got myself ready, ate breakfast, fed Bee (nursed) got her changed and ready, in the car seat and to church. We were only 20 minutes late but we made it and I'm so happy we did. Not only we're we finally able to take us off the prayer list (because our prayer of bringing Bee home healthy and alive came true) but we were acknowledged as a family, including Ty and Jacob. Though most people at our church know what we have been through, it was nice our rector chose to mention a very short version of it while welcoming us back.
I can't explain how good it felt to be there, standing, holding Bee, singing Hyms....I waited so long to be the mom with the new baby, the mom who has to leave because her baby is crying (though Bee didn't but still, it will happen) I waited so long to be the mom who everyone wanted to come talk to and see the baby. So many things about today I had waited and prayed for and it finally happened. At the same time, I grieve I did not get that chance with the boys, I finally had it with Bee and she was warmly welcome by all while still remembering the long journey to get her here. It was hard to hold back the tears, happy tears, but I did. To not hear her on the prayer list anymore, that meant so much, to know we accomplished that long tough journey.
In between church service and vestry I also had the chance to breastfeed in public. Given it was upstairs while everyone else was downstairs but babysteps! Society has made me feel horrible about breastfeeding in public so it is something I need to work on. I know it should not bother me at all but it does. Oddly enough, when I see other moms doing it I just want to tell them good job because they are doing something totally normal that every mom should be able to do but I'm not there yet. Bee and I are still working on the whole breastfeeding thing and we have some more things to learn before we dare try in public with people around! Though I was proud, it was also the first time I fed with no pillow support, which is a must for being in public. I also decided to order a special nursing cover to help make me feel more comfortable. I know we'll get it down one day and I hope I'll be one of those moms people look at and think that their boobs shouldn't be out in public. Women have every right to breastfeed in public and I find it quite amusing sometimes when girls walk around the mall with barely anything on showing more boob and skin then a breastfeeding mother, yet society is okay with that? Not right! Babysteps....
The rest of the day went well, Bee has a new fussy time, between 6-10pm she is just beside herself usually and not much calms her down but snuggles (darn right?) We are also trying to get her into a better bedtime routine and morning routine to hopefully help her start to distinguish night and day so I can get some sleep. Her sleeping through the night seems to have stopped. Most nights we go to bed at 10 or 11 and up up about 4-5 times until we finally get up around 9 or 10am, little sleep for me since I have a heck of a time falling back asleep. Most of the time I have no problem getting up, I find the first wake after we go to bed the hardest, followed by 3am. The other times I feel pretty energized and ready to go. I know we'll figure it out eventually like everything else and it will take time, plus I kind of like my midnight snuggles.
Not much else is going on here. I bought her Easter outfit and St. Pat's outfit along with her Christening gown the other day because for the first year I am going all out with every holiday! No more letting it pass by.
There will also be some nicer new photos of Bee in the near future, another thing I regret not having that I will not let pass by, good photos! We had a very nice tax return this year due to me not working very much last year so we decided to invest in a decent camera, I am excited! I may even get into some more photography, pick up a new hobby since I doubt I will go back to any of my old ones.
And to end the night on a good note, here's the little cutie getting bigger everyday (I'm guessing she has hit or is close to hitting 8 lbs, we'll find out on the 5th)
Bee HATES that chair, in fact she hates anything besides a warm body.