I really miss the joy of pregnancy, I wish I had some sense of it but I forget what its like. I have a few friends or at least acquaintances that are pregnant and are on my Facebook so I see their updates. I'll admit, it makes me jealous to see their happiness and innocence of pregnancy, preparing, grandparents getting ready to spoil grand-kids and all I can think is "I hope your baby doesnt die". I'd never say that to someone but I think it all the time. I wonder what it is like to have that happiness, I forget so easily. Maybe joy isn't the right word as I do feel joy that I am pregnant but it really lacks the innocence and naiveness. I then get an over whelming urge to find the NILMDTS numbers for the photographers in all the areas they live in, just in case. I feel like I am nervous ans anxious for them since they clearly lack any awareness of the tragedies that can come with pregnancy. I feel like I need to be on stand by in case something does go horribly wrong. I mean it's what I live for now, to help others through pregnancy and infant loss.
Bee and I are still sick. The sore throat is starting to disappear but it has been replaced with a nasty cough and stuffy nose. Last night was a rough night (and my poor hubby suffered as well but he got smart and went to the other room) The worst part of it all (other then having felt like crap for a week) my ligaments have really been stretching due to this being my 3rd pregnancy and if you've had ligament pain, you know the pain. While when you have a cold and you are constantly coughing the pain is intense. I felt like someone kept stabbing me in my sides. There were many tears of pain cried last night but the beauty in all the pain.....I got to lay awake for hours just feeling Bee wiggle away so I was giving herim some love and praying to fall back asleep.
Last night we went to our future house to get measurements and some pictures (of which my husband has been demoted from taking pictures due to the blurriness) but it was nice to have measurements so I can start thinking of where to put things. The kitchen, dinning room, guest bedroom/office, Bee's Nursery and the bathroom have all been done, meaning I know where to put everything. However, the living room and master bedroom are posing to be a problem. Mainly the master bedroom because of where the heat vent is but the living room will be tricky. Ill have to recruit my mom and brother for help with that.
I'm glad I go to the doctors next week because I think my irritable uterus has started up again, it's either that or the penicillin, I guess I'll know in a few days if it is the meds as I am done in two days. Either way, I have had some major tummy cramping (but no belly getting hard) so we shall see. I do remember this with Jacob but not until after 30 weeks though it is the same feeling but only the doctor can tell.
Now it is time to go watch the election results, I did my part!