I don't know if I've mentioned that my daughter rocks. She truly does. I never thought I could feel this in love, I never thought the day would come where I could stare into her eyes and have my heart melt. I have waited so long for her, struggled through heartache to get her here and she is just my world.
She's started to really become her own the last week or so. Night sleeping is AMAZING (though I'm still exhausted) given we did have two weeks of not so amazing sleepless nights but even then, I was grateful because I never had that chance with the boys. Everything she does amazes me because I never had that chance with the boys.
Lately when she gets mad she puts her left hand up by her ear and it's so bittersweet because my sweet Jacob always had his left arm up by his ear. It makes me think of him every time she does it and she is a spitting imagine of Ty so that is a daily reminder of what he may have looked like.
It's tough raising a rainbow on top of being a new parent. Being a new parent is incredibly challenging at times, I would not change it for anything, but it is tough. I think a lot of why I struggle still lies mainly in my grief for the boys. It's exhausting and I'm doing the best I can and Bee just rocks. She is really thriving, she is really becoming her own little girl, I continue to fall in love with her more and more and she truly amazes me with everything she is. It's just hard that I now know exactly what I missed with the boys.