Spring is here, well it's suppose to be here. This winter has been BRUTAL! It has been never ending. Cabin fever has led to depression. We've attempted to go our for walks, but it's been too cold. We are avoiding being out in public to keep away from all the sickies. We are SO ready for the nice weather! I need to get out and walk, we have a Mexican vacation coming up soon.
Anxiety has also been out of control, it has been eating away at me. I think it literally has as I've had really bad acid reflux. Peppermint tea has been my best friend as have crackers. My mind wanders though, it goes to the bad places and causes me to think about the worst case scenarios. It really does not help that it's tax season (which is not going to end well for us because of government bullshit) and that it is now going on 6 months since I applied for an insurance claim, of which I was told it would take 30 days and now they are telling me June. I can't do much about it and I think that's what has me stressed the most. I also feel my case manage really screwed things up by not doing things how she was suppose to making things take even longer. I know I have no control over it and I know it probably will be June before I hear but it's very stressful.
Bee has been rocking though. She gets into EVERYTHING and climbs EVERYTHING. I told Stephen not to be surprised when I call and say I'm taking Bee to the ER. This morning she dropped her sippy cup on her toe and now its blue and black. It's just a matter of weeks before she breaks something. I spend all day saying Bee get down, Bee sit on your Bum, Bee becareful, Bee don't eat that and trying to show her things she can do instead. But, she is a girl after her own heart and does what she wants. I tend to let her do it if it isn't putting her in eminent danger. Kids falls, they get bumps and bruises and she loves to learn and get into things. She is a very spirited, strong willed child (much like I was) so I tend to let her Bee. I know I am raising her right because we attended a birthday party this weekend for her boyfriend and everyone kept saying what a strong, tough, beautiful, smart and kind little girl she is. They were able to see that in the two hours we were there and it means a lot to me to hear people say that, it shows me I am doing something right even when I feel I'm not. Lord knows I am so in love with that little girl though. Some days she is the only reason I make it through. She is my everything and she is just so awesome!
I will do right by her and make sure she has the best life. I will make sure we can provide for her so she can experience life (not talking material items but rather life experiences) I look forward to cooking/baking with her, camping, hiking, going to the new aquarium in Toronto , the science center, the zoo, so many wonderful places to experience life. Of course, there is Mexico but I doubt she'll remember any of it, we will however.
Other than that, things are going. Spring will be here soon, we will be packing for Mexico before we know it, hoping my anxiety can calm down, insurance will be approved, get into the program I am waiting for, gaw so much waiting around. Does everyone not know how impatient I am? I like to get stuff done asap not wait for months on end, it's really pushing my buttons!
Oh and the book, 70 pages done, just finishing typing up Ty's journals and then going through the 100's of journals I have from Jacob and Bee's pregnancy. Passed our info along to an editor and am nervously waiting to hear back from them.....
Beauty ready for her boyfriends party