Just checking in, not much is going on. New Years Eve was uneventful. Our plan was to order from our favourite Chinese restaurant and just chill....well little did I know that on New Years Eve most restaurants have scheduled pick up times so that they don't get too backed up. When I called at 4 the next pick up time was 9:30...I eat dinner at 5 so you know where that went. I just ended up having Stephen pick up Pizza Hut...which still dissapointed me because they did not season the breadsticks or give us sauce so it was really like wet soggy bread (not yummy) even though the food was less than par, I had some really special quality time with my husband and we were able to talk about a lot. He went home at 10 and we were both asleep by 11 so Happy New Years to us!
The last few days have been really rough. I thought being in the hospital would help my anxiety but it has not done anything. My anxiety has consumed me, no appetite and plenty of sleep. I've had panic attacks and higher blood pressure due to the anxiety. All Bee's tests have come back perfectly fine. 5.2 as of 35 weeks, looking like Bee is right on track. Bpp's and Nst's have also come back perfectly fine. Bee is healthy and happy now if I could just keep my cool. When we saw the doctor on Friday we set the induction date of January 12th but the last few days, after talking to a pediatrician, NICU consultant and another OB I decided I could simply NOT last that long. We know 100% for sure that Ty passed away between 36 1/2 and 37 weeks so to go those 4 extra days is not worth the risk to me. If anything happened to Bee during that time I would not be able to live with myself. So I met with my doctor today and we set a date for the 8th (6 days from now) but before it's official he has to check with the NICU to see if they have any reservations. I'm still waiting to hear back, it may be a day or two of even moer anxious waiting....BUT, if it comes back and they say they are okay Bee will be here in less than 6 days. I can't even wrap my mind around that. I'm still waiting for something tragic to happen again.
I really miss being at home, last time Stephen was not working but this time he is so I sit and think a lot. I'm not really bored, I actually really like the quiet. It's helping me get through the days with just peace and quiet and calm and being hell bent on paying attention to Bee's kicks.
Not much else is going on but sitting and waiting. Sleep doesn't seem to be a problem anymore except during the day because of some really inconsiderate people. There is no chance of a nap but thankfully I get a decent amount of sleep at night. Last night I only woke up every 3 hours instead of every 45 minutes. The food has been hit or miss but I don't have much of an appetite so it doesn't make much of a difference.
Will update again when I can (don't want to be a computer hog) and if we get a go ahead on the date I will post for sure! Please continue to pray for Wee Bee, Bee will be here "early" either way and we pray for Bee's health and life.