26 weeks 1 day: Yesterday Stephen and I headed to Ancaster/Burlington for some Wedding/Ikea festivities. Ikea went very well, we picked up some new storage items for our new house and I picked up a few things for a play area for our kids/whatever kids come over to visit us. I didn't expect to have a hard day yesterday, I thought I would be fine emotionally. I was doing fine with everything until the ceremony. As I was sitting there watching Stephens cousin says his vows it hit me like a friggin ton of bricks and I was out of it the rest of the night (it did not help I was beyond exhausted, sleep has evaded me the last few weeks and my energy tank is dry). I sat there and I don't know what made me think of it, maybe just the whole emotions that come with a wedding but I realized, Ty and Jacob will never get this. I will never walk either of them down the isle, I will never have to give them away to another girl (or guy). There will be people missing in my life because their life ended so quickly, girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, extended family from my daughter in laws (or son in laws) I will never get that. I may never be the mother of the Groom. It was very hard to sit and think about that but I held it together most of the evening. There were just so many reminders of what should have been, even seeing all the little kids at the wedding. Neither Ty or Jacob will ever be a ring bearer...they won't know what the wedding experience is like.
Not only do they miss out but we miss out too. We miss out on being the couple with the rowdy kids running all over the place, as you know boys will be boys. We miss out on having people admire out boys and their good looks, dressed up like dapper little fellows for weddings. Yesterday just made me realize how much we miss out on but I was proud of myself for holding it together and faking it as much as I could (which does not help when already exhausted) and then once we got in the car I just let the tears fall the whole way home. 1 1/2 hours of just eyes watering.
We did enjoy our time though and the good food we consumed (Bee did as well) and honestly, when we were at Ikea shopping for a few things for Bee I was a bit excited but then got scared because herim is not here yet and I don't want to jinx it. The food was good but it also left me with a horrible gallbladder attack (one of the worst so far) I think it was all the spring rolls I ate followed by the beef and a yummy cake, it just pushed it over the edge! I don't doubt some of the tears on the way home were from the excruciating pain either.
Anyways, here are some photos of Bee and I and my handsome hubby....(who by the way broke club rules by wearing denim to the club and probably ruined the ladies night but we had a good laugh about it) Oh and did I mention how much I hate nylons? I now know why I have only wear them maybe about 5 times in my life!