It's really cold where I live and snowy. When I say snowy, there has already been two major snow storms, first one we received 4 feet of snow (no lie) second was about 3 feet. Weather like this makes me look at our California pictures a lot. The warmth of the sun, the softness of the sand, the peacefulness of the waves gently splashing ashore and the smell of the best veggie burger this chick has ever had! I've looked at our Cali pics a lot and I can't stop looking at them because not only does it remind me of a great adventure but for the first time in 3 years my smile is real. It is genuinely real. It's like looking at someone I don't know and admiring their smile. It wasn't fake, I didn't have to force it, it just came naturally. The joy and excitement in my eyes was pure. For a moment in time we were allowed to live. We truly did live it up while we were there and I'm so thankful we had the opportunity to do so.
I know I haven't posted the blog but uploading the pictures takes a very long time and I have so much else to write about right now. I promise I'll get it done shortly but for now, this snip it will have to do. Being in California was refreshing, it was a much needed escape from reality for us. I love looking at the pictures because I see me. I see a part of the old me, the one who knew how to smile and mean it. I see the enjoyment I was experiencing, living life to the fullest. We may be back and continuing to struggle, but for those 5 short days, we were free. We were allowed to be. I cherish the pictures because it allows me to see that it is possible to enjoy life again. It reminds me that with time we will figure it out and get back on track. The people in those pictures were living life, even if only for a short time, it was a huge step in the right direction. Every time I look at those photos, that smile creeps back and tears well up in my eyes because I remember how amazing it felt. It gives me motivation to keep going so I can feel that way more often.
This is just one of the many pics (we took 800) That smile is real! I love it. I love that moment.