The tough gets going. I've always wondered what that saying means. I don't know why I thought about it the other day but for me, in my life, when the going gets tough, I eat lots of chocolate. Makes so much more sense!
I've been feeling pretty down lately. Just generally sad. I can't pinpoint why and I know I'm do for a good acupuncture session, but that can't happen until I get my EI this week. Until then I have to hold on. I've been thinking a lot about what has happened in the last month. From my story going viral, to our trip to California, to our episode of The Doctors airing this Wednesday (October 30th, check your local programing for time and channel) It all seems like it never really happened. I mean yeah it was great and all but nothing has changed. I know some people may not understand how I view it like that but how I see it is, yeah these things happened, we inspired a lot of people but we're still us. We're still struggling. I'm still struggling. The bills keep coming, the inability to go back to work is crushing our finances even more, life is still happening. The weather is getting colder, the cats still needs to be fed as does Bee. Our life hasn't really changed much from before all of this happened. I know it's impacted thousands of other people but for us, we're still here plugging away.
I guess in a sense I am sad that we still have to struggle. After all we have been through I just want a break. I need a break. I know I didn't want to come back from California because it was such a nice and needed break. To not have any responsibilities to worry about was amazing. It felt so freeing yet it went by in the blink of an eye.
Some days it's hard to see the blessings. I know we are blessed but there is so much more to life that we want to live. We have started to write our book and I can only hope it brings even more people hope and inspiration. I know it's a direction our life is going that was not planned but we're use to things going not as planned and we hang on by the seat of our pants and the love in our hearts. Chocolate also helps, lots of chocolate.
Whatever this funk I am in, I hope it goes away soon. I don't like feeling this way and if Tuesday can hurry up and get here so I can get my EI and have an acupuncture session done, I know it will make a difference. It always does. It's my drug of choice and the best part is, it's non habit forming (though I'm kind of addicted to it) perfectly legal, perfectly safe and the best part, it truly helps. Until then I am downing the chocolate and forcing myself to take in my blessings.
And I think reminding myself that there are always people who have it harder than us is a gentle reminder that even though I am struggling, I'm not alone and I am blessed to have great support.
We went apple picking and rode on a train
Our pumpkins (we carved another one today) Of course I had to do a bee on for Miss Bee.