13 weeks 1 day: There is nothing more satisfying then cold pizza for breakfast (and no I'm not being sarcastic) If I had it my way I'd only eat pizza when it is cold. I can only hope Bee agrees and it doesn't make a wicked comeback. Being off progesterone I still have not noticed much of a change in the feeling vomity. I'm still really gaggy (which is fine with me, it's a reassuring sign) so I caved and ordered more Diclectin. I'm hoping this is the last bottle. I have noticed that I seem to have a bit of an appetite, like I get really hungry and feel sick but I don't crave much. Nothing sounds appetizing to me, other than the baked potato the other day. I have absolutely no idea if Bee is even still alive and kicking as being this early her kicks only come every few days and it's only if I am really paying attention. I know my anxiety will start to increase as we get closer to August 15th but it is only 2 1/2 weeks away. I feel right now that I won't have to go in before mainly because I still feel sick (but I know that does not mean much) but I am praying her kicks start to pick up soon to give me some more reassurance.
I'm just so incredibly thankful Dr S. gets it and decided to do a bed side scan with all of us in the room at the same time to ease some of the anxiety. He's pretty confident by 15 weeks 5 days we will know where the fluid level is at. It'll also be a good sign if we see a stomach and bladder and maybe if were lucky enough we'll see some kidneys (trust me there will be a picture of that) It really does help when my doctor feels so confident and having Stephen be so positive, I think some of it is starting to rub off on me. I know once our 18 week ultrasound is done and if the baby is healthy I will be able to breathe for a little while, not a lot because I still know at any moment something can happen, but it'll be nice not to have a lot of anxiety until closer to the end. Assuming things don't change between 18-32 weeks. We will be getting scans every two weeks (not sure if he'll stick to the quick bedside scans or be in with the techs) either way we should catch when something begins to happen, I do believe he will be watching the cord flow then as well and start the bpps as soon as we are able to. I know either way I will get great care and I hope it helps to bring Bee into this world alive, kicking, screaming, breathing and healthy. Lord knows Stephen and I need this break. We need to bring Bee home.
We are off to a memorial BBQ today for Stephen's grandpa who passed away in the winter. I hope my stomach can stay settled and my eyes can stay open because it has been a struggle this week! His mom lives out in the country and has a huge big front porch that I love to just go and sit on (and we can even sit out there in the rain) It is very peaceful out there. Maybe Bee can even send a kick my way to soften my heart today as on days I don't have work to focus on, that's when the anxiety starts to creep back!