There are times I am still caught off guard, times where I look at Bee and wonder if she is really mine. I mean, how did I get to be so blessed with such an awesome little girl? She truly rocks. I never knew my heart could burst with this kind of love. I never knew my heart could miss someone so much after being away for 15 minutes. I never knew my mind could wander all day long, wondering what Bee is up to. To watch her grow, to watch her learn is such a blessing that I cherish. Yes, she is a 2 year old, as are any other 2 year olds, there are challenging days but even then, I look into her eyes and see life, so much life. Life we didn't think we would ever have. Life we fought so hard to get. She reminds me that dreams and miracles do happen. She reminds me to keep going and never give up, to keep fighting the good fight. She motivates me to do better, for me, for my family and for those in need.
I always knew Bee had a very special purpose, that she was sent to us for a reason. I truly feel she breathed life back into me. Just when I didn't think it was possible, we heard her heartbeat for the first time. I held my breathe for those very long 36 1/2 weeks and when Bee was born, her first breathe gave me my first breathe (if that makes any sense). I always look into her eyes, I tell her I love her a bazillion times a day, I love being around her, I love doing things with her, she loves to help, we talk all the time, I love watching her learn (she is super smart), I love waking up with her next to me, giving me sweet soft kisses and saying mama get up. I never knew being a mom could be this exhausting and rewarding. It is worth everything, Bee is worth everything and when I look into her eyes, I just know.
And then tonight, I ask her if shes ready for bed and she says yes night night, walks over to Ty and Jacobs memory boxes, says goodnight Ty, blows him a kiss, then goodnight Jacob and blows him a kiss, as the tears seep down my face. She has a heart of gold, she has so much to offer the world and I feel so blessed to be by her side through it all. One look into Bees eyes will change you, it truly changes a person.