There is a story circulating about a little boy's headstone being removed and it has caused a huge uproar. You can find the story here: Headstone removed
I've had a few people pass it my way and wanted to know what I thought about the situation. In all honesty, the cemetery did the right thing. Now hold on, let me explain. This is only an issue because it has to do with a child. If this was an adult there wouldn't even be a story but stories about dead children are sensitive and people cry foul a lot.
Cemeteries have protocols about what types of headstones can go where. They have limited sizes, shapes, colours etc. Every cemetery has protocols when it comes to headstones. When we bought Ty and Jacob's plot we were given information about what type of headstone could be placed and that if it did not meet requirements, it would be taken down. Just because this is a child does not mean the parents don't have to abide by the protocols nor does it mean the cemetery should look the other way. They can't pick and choose who they let follow protocols and who can break them.
It sucks it was removed and the family should have been notified but the cemetery did the right thing. They followed the protocol just like everyone else has to. I sometimes feel like (and I say this being a twice bereaved parent myself) some bereaved parents deep in their grief think rules, protocols etc shouldn't apply to them. Perhaps even at some point I was there. But I've come to learn that just because my children died, it does not give me permission to be in my own category and forget all rules or regulations.
It's an easy fix, they want a star? Just etch a star shape onto the proper size and shape headstone like we etched a butterfly and sun on Ty and Jacob's. That way they abide by the protocol but they also get their star. It's a really sensitive subject because it has to do with a child. Most stories about children are a sensitive issue but sometimes, there isn't really a story, just someone feeling wronged when no wrong was done. I'm sure at some point in my grief I've done the same without knowing I was doing it but I've learned, all rules still apply.