Monday I headed to The Hive to have a reading. You read that right, I went to have a reading from a psychic/medium. Whatttt???? Check that off on the list of things I never thought I would do. But death, that sneaky death creeps into your life and changes what you think. I was curious to go because I've heard other bereaved parents talk about seeing mediums and having their kids come through. To be honest, I'm a little skeptical about all of that but I was curious so when I found out that a well known local medium was coming here, I had to go see her.
That morning I was off. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect but I knew in my heart who I wanted to hear. Here's how it went and let me say, she mentioned some things there was no way she could have known. She talked a lot about my grandma and my mom. She knew my mom had a sister but wasn't close and that there was a little girl who died in womb and the two could be related (my grandmother lost a little girl). She knew I was in a car accident in which there were two of us in the car, I was upfront, the other driver was male and we were hit from the side. All correct. She talked some more about my relationship with Stephen (and nailed some of those issues), my current learning situation I need to go with, continue on, all from my grandma who was apparently hogging the spiritual speaking floor. She knew our family had a few losses within a few years of eachother and that one died from a heart attack and that he smoked (my uncle). She knew I had lost a baby but only mentioned one. Thats where it gets me.
I've always felt Ty's presence, I've felt he is still here, he sends me signs and according to the medium, my grandma is taking care of him. But no mention of Jacob. The thing is I've never felt Jacob's presence, I don't see signs from him, So where is my precious Jacob? The death of Ty and Jacob has really thrown me for a loop. But not only in this life, it has me curious about the afterlife. Even more so since I feel Ty here and apparently with my grandma, but not Jacob. Though maybe it was Jacob and not Ty, she didn't really say anything specifically other than I lost a baby boy.
I won't go into full detail about the other things but there were some things she mentioned that there is no way she could have known and she was spot on about them. I would have been very skeptical if she had talked about Ty and Jacob a lot but there was hardly any mention of them. I did only have a 30 minute reading and maybe a longer one would have led to more discoveries but I do know I will be going back. I don't need to know about my future, I'm anxious enough and worry enough, I don't need to know what will happen. Though she did mention she saw 2 living children in my life and we have always talked about another baby, though no time soon. I'm more interested to hear what my relatives who have passed have to say. Not even if it's for me, like I said a lot was about my mom and grandma. I also feel the need to mention she did say somethings that didn't apply to me but there were only a few small things.
It was interesting to say the least. I will go back, maybe not to her but to someone. I'm curious about it and it's okay to be curious in life. I'm still skeptical but just like emdr, something about it just works or was right. I've lost all my sense of belief in life after Ty and Jacob died. I mean how could I not after holding my first born son who was already dead and then holding my second born son as he was dying. It's something that has been a challenge for me since it happened. I'm curious and I want to explore. This was step one in my exploration. I know it's not for everyone and I respect that, just as I respected those who did it for me when I didn't think anything of it.