Allowing myself to reflect on the past is sometimes quite emotional. I can reflect on the past 8 years much better than I can the past 15. Reflecting on life before my trauma is still quite upsetting. I think back to the person I was and how much innocence and joy I had. Pure, 100% pure and raw innocence. I've lost it all. I have nothing left and that's hard for me.
"The first time is the worst.' How many times have we all heard that line? It's usually uttered when you are about to embark on a new journey, take a step, face a fear, perform some kind of action that you have never experienced before. We've been told time and time again that the first time is always the worst but I have to disagree.
It's okay to have shitty days. It's okay to struggle. No one is perfect, we all have emotions and they sometimes get the better of us. This new journey I am on has taken me to emotional places that have to this day, have been unchartered waters. I have not tread for my life through these waters and I'm learning that it's okay.
All Of My Children
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