I sit here, head and heart pounding. Shots of pain run through my neck up to the top of my head. I sit here thinking how did I get here? What lead me here? I never expected to be here, a single mom at 34 going through a divorce but here I sit. I await my turn in court. I’ve waited 11 months for this moment and it’s here. It will be a long day of waiting, #17 of 18.
A long day to reflect. A long day to plan. A long day to think about the opportunities this new path in life will allow me. What can I learn, where can I grow? I don’t want to be here but I am. This is what life has handed me and I need to figure it out. All these challenges to face and rise from.
What do I want to do now? I need to re-evaluate my hopes and dreams and goals. I think that' true for most though. Things in life will always steer you away from your hopes and dreams and sometimes it okay to change them. Dreams change as we learn the lessons of life. We discover somethings don’t matter and we reevaluate what is important.
What dreams do I have now? What are my goals? How will I achieve them (that’s probably the toughest part), figuring out where to focus my direction and go for it.
As I sit here all I can think is that they need a service dog in this room and people walking around giving shoulder massages. It would make sitting here so much more enjoyable. Or kittens, everyone loves kittens. And a Starbucks. But really, where is my masseuse?
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