It's the first year I have felt this profoundly deep sadness. It's the first year I haven't felt numb. It's the first year I have cried tears of heartache. It's healing. Some may say its a step back but its a step forward simply because I am feeling again. That is a step forward. I have cried because Jacob is not here to celebrate his 4th birthday. I have cried because Ty is not here to celebrate his 5th birthday. Its heartbreaking but for so long I've been numb and haven't felt the true feelings about the boys death. This year is different. But, I also cry tears of happy memories. The sweet kicks, the horrible nausea, the preferred foods and the personalities. I remember them and this year, I ask that you remember them with me, let's celebrate Ty and Jacob's short but precious lives by fundraising for a great cause.
Fall brings my annual fundraising mission for the year. In the past I have started fundraising on September 5th, Jacobs birthday and end on October 15th, Ty's birthday. My plan is to do the same this year. But this year, I have picked an organization near and dear to my heart and I wanted to explain why I really want this fundraiser to be successful, so much so that I will be matching every dollar up to $500.
Merrymount's Children's Center, a name you probably have heard of if you live in London, a name you must know if you live in London and have children. Their mission "a caring organization committed to providing around the clock support and crisis care for children and families. We deliver responsive and innovative services and programs to strengthen children and their families in times of transition."
Not only do they offer short term childcare, they offer overnight care, a wide variety of child and parent programs, drop in playgroups and host other community outreach programs (such as mother reach).
You can further read all about Merrymount here: http://www.merrymount.on.ca
But, just sending you to read about an amazing organization doesn't have much gusto (though I fully believe in what they do and think that's enough) here's the thing, Merrymount saved my life.
I have used many of the services Merrymount provides over the last couple of years, from the postpartum group (which is hosted by mother reach) to the play groups to the health unit check up, I've used a lot services that they offer. I feel to the need to mention that all services are free of charge, they depend on funding to help run their programs. If I had not been able to use their services, I would not have been able to start my ptsd program, you know the one that is giving me my life back. To say they saved my life is pretty head on. Had I not been able to attend the ptsd program, had I been forced to say no and pass up the opportunity, I wouldn't be where I am today. For anyone who reads my blog, you know how much the ptsd program has changed me, how it has made a significant impact in my life for the better, which in turn impacts Bee's life for the better. It has allowed me to see life again, to live life again. I breathe in the freshness of life day in and day out because I have been given the chance at live again. A year ago, I thought I wouldn't get that chance, I thought I would have to say not to the program, but Merrymount stepped in and we worked on scheduling and found a way to allow me to attend counseling and not to have to worry about Bee.
That may seem insignificant to some, but to me it has meant getting my life back. Words cannot express how thankful I am to have found Merrymount and to have worked with them to provide me with time to attend my ptsd program.
So please, in memory of Ty and Jacob, let's make this fundraiser a great success. Like I mentioned, I will be matching every dollar up to $500 (but I do hope it goes above and beyond that) If you live in London and have children, you never know when you may require the services of Merrymount, but knowing that they are there, lets pay it forward to a great organization.
Please donate and share this link, this organization deserves all the funds we can raise!