I'm glad I'm that mom. I'm glad I went back to the doctors because I knew Bee didn't just have a cold anymore. I knew the minute she refused milk this morning (her favourite time of day, she loves to nurse in the morning). So off we went and turns out she has a double ear infection and bronchitis round 2. She seems to be taking after me, we can never just have a cold, it always turns into something else. But, she has meds and will be on the mend shortly. One of these weeks we'll be able to get back on track. She is home today and I plan on keeping her home tomorrow as well so only one day of school this week which means all the plans I had will be pushed to next week. Not that I mind, but it's just so hard to get back on track and exhausting. Could also be exhausting because we haven't slept in 3 nights, could be I guess.
But I'm thankful I went, I'm thankful I could trust myself to know that there was something more. I'm thankful that I knew what she needed and what to do. Through her I am slowly starting to trust myself again, slowly but it is there. As she lays on the couch sleeping, oil diffuser/humidifier going, spa music playing, I check in every few minutes to make sure she is still breathing because as much as I trust myself, my mind still goes there. Maybe I'm not that mom, maybe it's just an all mom thing. We know when our kiddies are sick and we know to push to have them seen again and make the doctor listen to us. I'm thankful I found an amazing walk in clinic with a doctor whom I wish could be our regular doctor. I'm thankful he listed to me and helped me figure out what was wrong so Bee could start to feel better. I'm thankful I am teaching Bee to cover her mouth when she is sick because all those aholes who don't, the ones who got us sick in the first place, they need to take a lesson from a 2 year old who knows its only proper to cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
So maybe I am, maybe I'm not that mom but I'm thankful that as Bee's mom, I knew it was something more and didn't hesitate to bring her back, even if it was just still a cold because you know what, it wasn't.