We got to see our Sweet Pea today for almost an hour. We still have no clue what the baby is, boy or girl so we're just going to prepare for both. I still have a feeling it is a girl so we'll stick with Matea but have a boy's name picked out just in case. I have to say, seeing the baby in 2D was much easier then 3D but we did get to see a bit of the baby's features in the 3D. The main problem was the baby's legs were crossed and her hands were covering her face and she was being very stubborn and not moving her hands so we didn't get a great face shot. We want to do another one at 32 weeks if were blessed to get that far and we may ask about getting an amnioinfusion before we go so we can see more and have better pictures. I'd go through the pain to get that experience. We have to contact the company though becasue the CD with all the pictures on it never burned so we only have the DVD. Hopefully they still have them, if not they better give us a free session to do more, though I am sure they keep them on-file. Next time we go I think were going to ask to have more 2D/4D since we can see her better through that. Unless we get an amnio or there is more fluid and we can actually see. That would be a miracle. The pictures from today are below and there is a new one of her at 25 weeks under pictures. We'll also post the video once we put her music to it.
I wrote something on a friend's facebook status today and I don't know where it came from but it felt so natural to say it. "Sometimes when you go through as much as you have the "normal life" you have changes. Not in a bad way, sometimes for the better, after loosing Ty and now loosing Matea my life will never be "normal" again and the new "normal" for us is much different then it use to be but I think most of the time it's for the better. I know some people hate the saying "Everything happens for a reason" but I'm starting to think that God does make everything happen for a reason and it may take awhile to know why or you may never know." I am really starting to believe this. Who can really define normal anyways? And is normal really the way to live?
Everything we have been through has made me a softy, a softy for animals, children and people in need. I have such an overwhelming urge to help others. I want to help those who have less, those who are in need, those who are alone and looking for support. I just want to take in all the homeless animals and children and give them all love, that's what everyone needs. We all have God's love but sometimes people choose not to or struggle to see his love. Sometimes it takes racial circumstances to create radical faith (said by my friend Jen) and she nailed that one. How radical is it to loose two children, too bury two children? Yeah that's definatley a radical circumstance and yes it brought us closer to God. What we have been through has changed our whole lives. It has made us appreciate life much more,it has made us question what we are really here for. We have so much and are so blessed with everything we have I feel we are here to help others.
Day two of this blog....
I tried to upload the photos but weebly would not let me upload them on here so they are under pictures. Today was a very frustrating day. I bought a new laptop becasue for as much as I am doing online I needed something newer (mine is 5 years old) well it has not gone well, my husband has had to do a system restore 4 times so needless to say I am more then ready to take it back and get something a bit better. I need something faster that can handle more and the one we got. I just wanted to write the blog, upload the photos, put the video to music and post it but I have not one anything due to the lack of a decent computer in our house. My husband wants to give the new computer a few days (we have 14 to return it) but the fact that if something goes wrong on the computer and we have to do a system recovery every time is not a good thing so I am pushing to take it back tomorrow and get another one, I just haven't been with it today, i have been very emotional and just wanting to cry. My mom took us out for dinner and I had a chocolate cheesecake slice for desert and my evening was much better. We went for a walk and talked a lot and it was nice to just get out and get a bit of exercise now that the doctor said to go ahead.
We have our next genetics meeting next week, also meeting with the social worker to start the birth plan. We also have to schedule the eco and an appointment with the neonatalogist to discuss comfort care....so much to do in the next few weeks. I want to be prepared by 28 weeks.
Speaking of genetics, we found out that both my husband and I normal. Nothing wrong with our genes, good news and bad. So we just have really shitty luck. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm just so tired and grouchy today I think I better just go to bed before I get even more frustrated that the pictures will not upload...the other two I have right now are under her pictures. Hopefully we'll get the CD from UC Baby sometime soon, they'll have to send it FedEx or something since Canada Post is on strike....Sigh....what a day, the best part was going to the Christian book store and getting some things for Matea. Healing oils and holy water on Monday, counseling on Tuesday and who knows what else, lots to report next week and then the wait until July 5th when everything is reassessed....kidneys, bladder, stomach...please grow. Love you oh so much Tea Bug Cakes! Keep strong little love bug.
Our Sweet Girl (?) Somewhere in there.