Where to begin....let's see what my mind can remember. I'll start with something I find funny, a trip to court that my husband and I received at the end of our appointment. We got a parking ticket but we are going to fight it because the majority of our car was parked within the "allowed" parking spot and a sliver of our trunk was in the" no parking" spot and I do not think we should have to pay a ticket and if we do then it should only be 1/4th of the price because the majority of or car was parked in the allowed spot. We took a picture as evidence, I'll be interested to hear what they say. We've parked there about 25 times and never had a problem before so I don't know why it was today. Stay tuned for Jessica and Stephen go to court!
So today.....I was EXTREMELY nervous going to the appointment. I was doing somewhat okay until we walked the walk we have walked so many times, through those halls with Ty and Jacob. I registered and thankfully there were no pregnant women in the waiting room. However, the minute I sat down I started to have a anxiety/panic attack. I started sweating, shaking, trying so hard not to throw up because my stomach was feeling very very ill. I couldn't calm myself down, my hear started pounding and I started getting chest pain and all I could do was try to breathe. We were called in pretty quickly, though we did have to wait about 40 minutes. I'm sure Dr S. was a bit nervous too, actually I wonder if Dr's get nervous. I'm sure they are trained to not feel emotions when dealing with patients.
We discussed a lot, though I didn't have nearly as many questions as I thought I would. He didn't discuss much about the boys, only how we could try and prevent or work with the same outcomes as we did before. What happened to them is in the past and we know how to handle those circumstances in the future. What we did talk about was trying again. There was a lot more to that than I expected. I never went off pre-natal vitamins so he was happy to hear I have been on those for 7 months getting a really good store of vitamins in my body. We talked about all the other medication I was on and said that being on Iron the first few weeks was fine (the pharmacist said it wasn't) I may ask another pharmacist for their opinion. I have no problem being off of it for 4 weeks, my supplies aren't that low. Everything else was good, I know all my blood work came back peachy keen from Dr. B so I didn't really have many concerns. The only concern I had was that with Jacob I had two ultrasounds between week 5-7 (when the kidneys develop) and I asked him if there could even be a small chance it was co-related. He said absolutely not. There have been decades of studies showing they are perfectly safe. So I will feel reassured when we go in for a 6 week ultrasound that it will be okay. He said they do it to date the pregnancy but I chart my cycles, I know when I ovulate and we'll go by that date instead of my cycle date since it is more accurate and I ovulate about a week later than the normal "14 day cycle" and since we will be delivering early we want to make sure the baby is actually the correct age.
He said for the first few months (which I knew this) there wouldn't be much monitoring other than the in there every few weeks to check in and see how things are going (assuming everything is going along smoothly, if things aren't then it will be dealt with at the time) 18 weeks is when we would do the big ultrasound to see how everything is looking, fluid, kidneys, heart and all. Depending on what happens at this ultrasound will then direct my care from then on out. No matter what after 18 weeks I will be going in every two weeks, every two weeks I will have either a bed side scan or I will go to radiology for a scan, so from 18 weeks on, ultrasound every two weeks. I can't complain, I loved seeing Jacob so often and we have so many nice ultrasound pictures of him. He said they would monitor me this closely because, even though nothing shows up at 18 weeks, given our past with Jacob, they will have to monitor the kidneys. Not only that once we get into the later weeks (28 and up) they start monitoring the placenta and the baby's well being because of what happened to Ty. All in all I will be monitored a lot! (Kind of knew that though)
A hospital stay is very likely for my sanity. If everything is going as planned I would be admitted maybe 34-35 weeks (at the latest) so I could not die from overwhelming stress. Again, this is assuming everything goes as planned which the hubs and I know all too well, that is not always the case.
Now the interesting part and something Stephen and I did not plan on and now have to seriously consider. When we went in for our 6 week checkup I guess he phrased something wrong and we were under the assumption that if we tried to conceive before 15 months from giving birth to Jacob we'd have to do another c-section. I got all on board with this as I know a few moms who had their angels pass away during labour (though I don't know the full story, like if they were monitored throughout the birth, things like that) If any of you who read this have lost a baby during labour and feel comfortable answering some questions please e-mail me at email@example.com. Anyways, that's not the case. He meant 15 months between births (which we are over and above going on almost 8 months since giving birth and the 9 months of pregnancy that would put us at 17 months) This was a bit of a shock when he started talking about induction. I hadn't even considered this an option before today, I thought it was c-section for sure. Here's what we have to deal with now.
We have the option of trying for a vbac assuming I don't have placenta previa again and the babe is head down (given my history this leans towards having a c-section anyways) If we opt for a vbac I can be induced around 36 weeks at the latest 37 weeks. My issues is that I have read and he did confirm there is a slightly higher risk of uterine rupture when you induce so that will have to be discussed. Not only that, I know a few mothers who have lost their baby during labour so there is that fear. I do not think I could live with myself if I went through a perfectly healthy pregnancy and lost the baby during labour. I would not be able to handle that. Though the thought of giving birth again is a bit intriguing. I could have anyone in the room with me and it would make it all that more special but I don't know if my heart is okay with taking the risk.
If we opt for another elective c-section then he suggested leaning towards waiting until 38 weeks because at that point the baby would most likely not require any NICU time at all. We are hoping to avoid the NICU if possible but we know it could save our baby's life. If we have another c-section scheduled we reduce the risk of needing an emergency one and possibly causing a lot of damage which would affect future children. If we opt for another c-section we can still (assuming everything goes well) try again. He said the most he has done has been 8 (we wouldn't get near that as we still want to eventually adopt) so we'd be okay.
So now we have a lot to think about because before today I was under the assumption if we tired before 15 months it'd be another c-section and I was all on board with that but now....he would like us to consider a vbac.....I know this may shock a lot of people because most ob's do not like doing vbacs and some refuse it but ours encourages it. We will not decided until very close to when the baby would be here but it just seems like another stressor to now consider......not what I was expecting.....
Other than that it went well. Had all our questions answered, he seemed pretty comfortable with everything we asked, seemed pretty confident in us trying again and thinking that both boys circumstances were "flukes" that it shouldn't happen again. Only time will tell......