Not much happened yesterday, we stayed at home for most of the day as I was not feeling well. My stomach has been very wonkie the last few day, my guess, nerves about next Tuesday. I finished cleaning the house in hopes that come next Tuesday I would be told I need bed rest because there has been some change and Matea needs to grow as much as she can. I took pics too since the house was clean and people have been asking what our house looks like. We're in a tiny but lovely shoebox for about another year-year and a half but we love it here. Besides my parents house, it is the only place that feels like a home. I looked at about 50 apartments and it was the only one I liked. I didn't take it at first because there was no laundry and that was on my must haves list so I continued to look around but after looking I realized it was the only place I liked. I called the landlord and he said someone else already took it so I was quite disappointed, but it was my own fault I waited a few weeks after seeing it. Well wouldn't it be the grace of God that a week after I was told that he called back and said they backed out and the apartment was mine if I still wanted it. Of course I did! Even with no laundry, which at first I did in the sink and hung it dry in the hall but that was when it was only me. Add a man and another cat and sink washing was just not going to cut it. So to the laundry mat we go. I remember thinking how we were going to do laundry once Ty was here. We usually like to go together and with a newborn there was no way that would be possible. One of us would have to go alone until Ty was a bit older. I figured I could wash the baby clothes in the sink since they go through a lot in a short amount of time with diaper explosions and teething and spit up and all. But now we are back to two. I remember when we were getting ready for Ty and we filled two wash machines with clothes just for him and I loved cleaning and folding them, it was so special. I don't get that this time. Sure I guess I could wash a few little girl outfits just in case but is it going to be too much? I don't even know how I got on that subject but okay...one thing leads to another. I do know I want to wash the hospital and burial outfits a long with the blankets and towels so there nice and fresh and cozy and maybe I will throw in a few little girl outfits.
So back to yesterday, we stayed at home and did nothing really, rested and made food then we went to watch the fireworks at about 8. They say they begin at dusk but they really mean 10. We got there at 8 with our chairs and snacks and thinking they would start at dusk (which according to the weather network was 9:07) I drank my bottle of water...not a great idea because by 9 I had to go! We were in a neighbourhood with lots of people so there was no where to go and I think Matea thinks its funny to kick my bladder when its full. Silly girl. So I sat in uncomfortableness during the show. I can't tell if she liked them or not. It was a very different experience then with Ty. With Ty he was kicking throughout the entire show and big kicks at that. Matea was quiet for awhile and then when the really loud ones shook my belly she would kick so I think she was probably wondering what the heck was going on. I just pray next year we can actually bring her to see them. It was hard last night because there were so many small kids there and it was tugging at my heart a little, especially the little guy that was around Ty's age. It was like a swarm of, this is what you came so close to having but you don't get to keep it, sort of feelings. The guy next to us, who reminded me of John Candy, kept me pretty distracted though with his crazy stories. Lets just say there are some very...different people in this world. Here's some pics from last night:
Getting ready to head to the fireworks
Before the show, belly and all!
My love and I, he cracks me up!
I tried to get a good pic of the fireworks but with my camera it was just not happening, it wasn't quick enough. But they were pretty and I was able to watch them because I remembered to bring my ear plugs! I generally do not like fireworks because they are so loud but I have learned ear plugs are a great solution to that problem. Before I forget, I just want to say thanks to God for letting it finally rain, I really did not want to have to water my flowers or wash the car so thanks! Saves me from having to do much today. For some reason I am exhausted. It is only 9:30am and I was up at 8:00am, had breakfast, showered before the storm and now I am ready for a nap. It may just be a try to nap kind of day. Hopefully it goes better then the last nap I tried. Other then that, just taking it easy today. Put away all the sewing stuff for now, going to finish our wedding album and just relax. I'm really hoping a nap will be in the books, I just can't seem to keep my eyes open and with this upset tummy...either it's nerves or Matea is working on growing a kidney. If she needs to make me sick to do so I say bring it on! I'm feeling a little hopeless today, time to go read the miracle stories again.
On this day of your life, Jessica, we believe God wants you to know ... that it's time you let go. Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, - it's all in God's hands, - has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest.God must really know me because I do like to be in control and what I learned with Ty is that I have no control over what happens, I have no control over what happens with Tea but I sure as heck am going to do everything I possibly can to help her but then maybe this is him working through me to help her. Who knows....I just don't like not having control but it is a lesson I have learned, I don't control anything. It doesn't mean I am choosing to give up, I never will, but I am letting go of the things I cannot control and working on the things I can try to have an effect on.