I am getting to the point where I am about to live in cardboard boxes over this place. We caught another mouse today and there is mouse poop everywhere. I don't know how long he has been avoiding the traps but by the amount of poop I'd say a few days. I am beyond tired of cleaning up mouse poop and I'm really starting to think having cleaned up so much it has made me ill. I have been generally feeling "under the weather" for a few months now. Of course at first I thought it was grief, then I thought it was my thyroid but now that those are both kind of being taken care of and I still feel like crap I'm starting to think it is this house. It just fuels my fire to find us a new place to live. We don't ask for much and we're starting to give in on our lists of must haves. We'd like 2-3 bedrooms (or a 2 bedroom with a finished basement or den to use as a guest room) laundry, smoke free units, no stairs outside (or not as many as ours and not wood) free of mold, free of mice and all inclusive or rent + utilities all for under $1000. Oh and we'd prefer on the west side of London because we work, go to church and the boys are here (this is one we may have to change)
There just seems to be nothing out there. I get it that the point of being a landlord is too make money but aren't there some nice people out there who have just retired and moved into a smaller place and want to help those with less a bit? Aren't there still people like that left in the world? Maybe I'm crazy, I mean I know I am but really, it has been over a year of apartment hunting. I have looked at apartments in houses, at houses, at townhouses, at semi-detached...you name it I've looked. I looked at two last year and am kicking myself we didn't take the opportunity because both would be exactly what we are now looking for. But the fact of the matter is, we need to move. This house is unhealthy and not safe. It (I'm pretty sure) is causing me to be ill when nothing else can be explained. All this mouse poop and mold has gotten the better of my body when it is already down and out and I can't take much more. It's very frustrating to not have found a place yet. We really do not ask for much, I didn't think my lists of needs were unreasonable I guess it's just timing. I just wish somehow we could find a solution....of course if we had more money it wouldn't be an issue but we do not have $1200-$1800 a month to put down on a place and not even have it include utilities. We may be rich in love but we are not rich financially.
Another frustration and I can't be really frustrated because it is my own doing, but my weight loss is moving at a turtles pace. Given, I don't do a whole lot but I have changed my eating, my thyroid is getting back on track and I move as much as I can throughout the day. I was stuck for 4 weeks but have lost 1lb in the last week. I really was hoping come March 5th I'd had lost all 30lbs I gained with Jacob. I guess if I did a lot more I could have made that possible but I'm so tired. My weight is coming off and it will I just don't know if it will all be gone before we decide to try again.
Speaking of trying again, I think God was telling me today that April is a good time. I told him we'd have to talk to the doctor first and make a decision before anything happened but it's the beginning of lent. Our homily today was about Noah's Ark and I find so much hope in that story. It shows that God does bring rainbows after you weather the storms. Lent is about new beginnings, new creations of God....I can't think of a more perfect message about the timing of trying again then today's homily. I don't know if our priest knows he pretty much sent a message directly from God to me but he did. I like the idea...but we'll see. We've pretty much decided we do want to try again but there is a lot we have to figure out first (I do not want to have to bring a child into this unhealthy and unsafe home so I PRAY somehow we find the money and place to move) and Stephen needs to figure out his job as do I. But, unlike before, if I don't loose all Jacob's weight and only have like 3 lbs left to go I think I'd be okay. I do want to be as healthy as possible and maybe that will give me more motivation to get off my butt the next few months. I won't have a problem if I find some energy. I don't know what it is but I have been exhausted lately. All I want to do is sleep, maybe it is the stress of finding and searching for our next home, maybe it's not enough vitamins, not enough sleep, not enough whatever....all I can do is pray.
I can pray for a permanent job for Stephen, I can pray that we find a new place to live that we can afford, I can pray for health, I can at least pray. I can ask others to pray for us and if anyone in London knows of a place to rent, let us know! This searching is getting hard. I should say that I am not fond of being in apartment buildings I have had issue after issue with them and prefer to be in a house apartment, townhouse, semi-detached or house and maybe that is one reason it's harder to find a 2-3 bedroom place but from experience I don't want to have to deal with being in a building. Or, if you own a home in London and are moving, consider renting it! Being a landlord is a great investment....hey I have to try right?