I know I haven't written in a few days. The parental units were up visiting so we were enjoying our time with them. Not only that I haven't had much to say lately...surprising I know! I am just so....in limbo between feelings of hope and faith and sadness and fright. I do feel a bit more hopeful after reading all the good things about fetal hiccups. Sweet Pea has had them since about week 18 and I can't help but think that it has helped his/her lungs develop enough to survive outside the womb. They say it shows an indication of how strong the lungs are and if that is the case then our little one may be okay. Now if we can get more amniotic fluid accumulating so we know the kidneys are functioning much better.....and having the lungs continue to develop. We go to the doctors on Wednesday and were going to talk about me being admitted. I think if the fluid level is still low we want to push for me being in there this week. If the fluid is at normal amounts maybe another week or two at home but by week 32 in the hospital. I know it'll be very hard for me but we want to do everything we can to give the baby the best chance and knowing what happened with Ty, for our sanity we want the baby to be monitored a lot.
Going to a Josh Groban concert tomorrow. As much as I know I will ball, I really hope he sings Ty's song. It'll be nice either way, it would just be more special. I hope Sweet Pea enjoys it. Ty got to enjoy Dave Matthews so Sweet Pea gets Josh Groban. Possibly my last night of freedom before I am committed to the hospital.
I really don't have much else to say. I am still in shock, for someone who is so new to faith our miracle baby is really showing me the power of God and prayer. It is really deepening my faith and I think regardless of the outcome it will have brought me closer to God. I just can't believe what is happening, neither can the doctors though I don't need an explanation I know what's going on :0). But still, preparing for the next 7 weeks we can't really do much. We don't really want to do much. We much rather have a baby for perfectly healthy and have to scramble to get things together then come home with no baby to only have to put things away again. We did decide to go with cloth diapers, now it's just choosing what kind is best. I just think cloth would be better since we'll be at home and it does save money and is good for the environment. Other then that, installing the car seat and setting up the bassinet we aren't going to do anything, oh we do have to wash the sheets for the bassinet but other then that....nothing. I do find myself feeling more hopeful as the weeks go on and we continue to see good news each week...I just fear one of these weeks something will go wrong but I have to trust that it won't. Ohhh...so many things to think about.
Continue to grow strong little one, grow those lungs and those kidneys and we'll keep fighting for you as well, doing everything we can. Mommy and Daddy love you Sweet Pea.