So now that it is official, I can finally announce it.......I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember the huge stressor I said I couldn't mention yet well I can finally talk about it. Job hunting is anything but fun. I have been looking for 8 weeks now. I was hopping to find something before my disability ended and could start somewhere new. But, the last few weeks things have been getting down to the wire and I was afraid I would have to go back to where I was before, which was not in my plans and it could have come at a great cost. I won't say a lot about where I use to work but I have been looking and the plan always was to look for a new job after the boys as I really had no room for growth and it's something I'm always looking to do. There were many reasons I chose not to go back, I will say there are some great people there but I am much more use to a small office environment and wanted to get back into that so I could have room to grow my abilities.
I am extremely excited about my new endeavors. It's in an area I am not that familiar with so I get to learn a bunch of new things (which I love and really look for in a job) I like to be challenged and constantly learning new things and I wasn't getting that where I use to be so I made the decision to look elsewhere. It was not an easy process, it has been 8 weeks, I have sent out over 100 resumes, had two other interviews that I did not get hired for and I was at the point where I was ready to give up and just go back to where I was before. Even if only temporary until I could find something else. To be honest, I didn't even want to go to this interview. I was sick last Thursday and considered many times calling to cancel and just getting my mind wrapped around going back to where I was before but God, nope he made me go. He put it in my heart to at least just go and do it. I needed more interview practice anyways. So with his motivation and guidance I went, despite REALLY NOT wanting to go I still went. Then I got there and I met the man who would be my boss and he is one of the nicest men I have met (of course next to my father, my husband and my father in law) he was just a sweet older man and we got talking and sitting there I realized why God had made me go. This is where he wanted me. I had prayed for months to be guided to a place that would be supportive of everything I have been through and everything we will face in the future. Just sitting there I could sense of wonderful of a place it would be to work. It is a small office of only 4 people (including me) in a really cute old little house off of Oxford. Leaving the interview my heart had changed and I really wanted this job now. I had hoped that I didn't bomb the interview with my initial displeasure. I sent a thank you note as I always do and received a response saying they would contact me for a second interview. YAHHH I didn't bomb, I did well (maybe thats the key to a good interview, not caring) So of course I was elated to be called in for a second interview and to meet the other ladies who worked there (who seem lovely) sent another thank you for the second interview and received some emails from my references that they had been called and then I received an email from my boss saying to call back this afternoon where he officially offered me the job. I will go in on Thursday to wrap things up with them and then sort things out with everything else.
I am beyond excited for what this means, I am excited for the possibilities this will lead me too and something I can really make a career out of since it is very specific. I am so thankful God made me go that day and opened my eyes to how wonderful this new place will be. I really love small office environments, I have always had good experiences in them because you really do all work as a team and I don't find that in bigger offices. The more people the more issues you have so I am excited I get to go back into a small office setting, which is my comfort, which is my preference because I have always been able to grow in smaller offices and learn and not be stuck in one role with no where to go. Don't get me wrong, I love administrative stuff as thats what I am use to but having worked in law for 3 years, I want to learn more, I want to be more involved in the law side of things and this job presents that opportunity for me so I really am thrilled and I'm thrilled I can let the cat out of the bag and share with all of you so no one has to think of any more scenarios. This job also provides opportunities to go back to school and take some courses (which I've always wanted to do)
This week has been a really good week, I fixed EI, I got a new job, besides being sick, it has been great! I guess I should just know better than to not eat chili that has been in the freezer for who knows how long, especially since it has beef in it and I haven't had beef in weeks (I switch between not eating red meat and going back) It feels so good to be able to share the secret news! I don't know if its what anyone expected but it's the secret I have been keeping! Obviously I couldn't mention it at the time as I didn't want to risk loosing my position where I use to be in case I HAD to go back but now that it is out, man it feels good!
I am very thankful for the opportunity, now here is where the grief will get me.....I know children will be brought up and in a few weeks when I decide I'm comfortable and will wear short sleeves, the tattoos will be seen. I know I'm going to have to face talking about them and it does scare me a little because I have been so emotional about them lately. I think my head is finally clearing and things are more real to me and it makes me miss them so much. My heart hurts so much for them, but if it wasn't for them, I may have not taken a risk and pushed myself to look for a better place to work, someplace I would be more happy at. I wouldn't have this opportunity if it weren't for them. They were my driving force behind the decision to make this huge life changing change. It wasn't an easy task to decide but I knew I was unhappy where I was, I was miserable. Like I said, there were some great people there I will really miss (but hope to keep seeing outside of work) but the work atmosphere was just not what I am use to, the limited ability to grow is not what I was use to. On top of the fact I just do not think I could bring myself to go back and sit in the same chair, do the same work and see the same people. When I thought of going back my anxiety got so bad I had panic attacks. I made myself so sick with worry that I knew going back was my absolute last option. I am very thankful I have found a better solution for my family. Of course the first few weeks will be a bit stressful but starting new jobs always is. I have a lot to learn and even more so, I have a lot to prove. I've been out of the game for awhile so I need to make sure my mind is clear and focused so I can prove to them that they made the best choice. Going back to work full time in two weeks will be a HUGE change in my life. Right now I spend a lot of the day just being lazy at home. I've spent so much time working on grief and am incredibly thankful I have had this time to figure out how to get back into the real world. I will be seeing a social worker to help me with readjusting but due to the fact that I don't want to have to take any time off for the first month, it'll be hard to work it in.
Anyways, thats the big news I have been hiding and it feels so good to get it out. Now I can write about how getting a new job works when you are still grieving. I'm sure it'll bring challenges but I intend on taking them head on and dealing with them as they come. Here is to my new job, a place I felt so welcomed in, even just for my interview. A place I see myself growing at and a place I am so thankful to have the opportunity to work at. Above all, I thank God for giving me the motivation to go that day as it ended up turning out to be something wonderful.