Stephen and I purchased new mattress today, thanks to my parents. The one we have is about 25 years old and has been passed down from generation to generation for quite some time. We have flipped that thing more times then a dolphin flips his flippers and it is ready to be retired (it gets to provide comfort to our guests now) so after a week of online research about mattresses at a few different store we headed out. Our itinerary was : Sleep Country (which I thought would be the most priciest and not have something in our range) followed by Sears (which was a bit pricier but had some decent sales) and Jysk (which has bottom of the line mattresses and no free delivery. We made it as far as Sleep Country lol...#1 on our list. We were pleasantly surprised at the deal we got. It beat the other two places in price, service and quality! We told her our price range and she respectfully stayed under that. She even got us a further discount for having a mismatched set (the box spring and top fabrics do not match, no big deal it's hidden anyways) and at Sleep Country you get a discount the first time you buy from them. We are very happy with one of the larger purchases as a couple, we have a list of somethings and this was #1. Next, pillow, I won't lie she did try to sell us some pillows but we said no and there was no pressure. However, the pillow she let me try was amazing so it may go on the list of expensive needs! Actually, before pillows comes AC. We successfully installed the AC we have in our bedroom but since Stephen works from home now, he really will need one in his office, it is the hottest room in the house because the sun shines in there all day. I do think Wal-Mart will be our choice since they are reasonably priced there.
I tell you, being poor and living on a budget is hard, it takes months to save up for bigger things we need but thanks to our gracious and giving parents we have been able to get a few things we need and plan for the rest. So, why did getting a new bed turn into a hard day?
When we bought the bed they said in order for the 10 year warranty to be applied we had to have two things, a mattress protector and a sturdy frame with a bar in the middle. The new bed frame we received from friends of ours had the bar in the middle but we never put it on so today I dug it out, moved the mattresses and installed it. The bar posed a problem as the under the bed bins I had wouldn't fit. Well, only one would, okay, two would have but I always leave a large space in back for Milo to hide, he sleeps there a lot so I couldn't block it. So that left one bin needing to be moved. It was broken anyways so I figured I'd put all the contents in another box and stick it in the storage closet. I got the bin out and began transferring things.
The bin that wouldn't fit under the bed, the one I was transferring things from, it consisted of little boy clothes, 18 months old to be exact. Instead of putting those clothes away in the box I should have been putting them on Ty. He would be 19 months and wearing a lot of that stuff but he never got the chance. Of course this really upset me and I cred while doing it. I tried to picture what he would look like, would he grow red hair, blonde hair or brown hair. Would he have any curls or waves (I have slight curly hair) would his blue eyes stay blue or would they change to another colour? Would I have still have put the white shirt on him knowing damn well little boys should NOT wear white EVER! But it was only .75 how could I pass it up? It would be his outdoor clothes. Would all the pajamas we had be too warm for him to wear? The ones with the cute raccoons and bears....would they even all fit? Stephen and I are small people whose to say he wouldn't be either? Would he have received hand-me downs from cousins and friends? Today left a lot of upsetting questions.
But my Ty let me know he was with me, I haven't seen the Blue Jays in a few days and the tears were rolling down my face I looked outside and there was one! I knew it was him. It didn't help the pain but it was peaceful.
Things still hit me unexpectedly. A good day finally finding a new mattress only to come home and be heartbroken. It gets me every time. I do know Ty would have been a stylin little guy, I would have made sure of that! Now I must put them away, wondering if they will ever be used by a little boy of ours.....only to wonder, on I go putting my hopes and dreams into a sealed box...waiting for the day if we are ever so lucky.
I found these little guys yesterday, only two there, sitting like this on the shelf. I knew it was my boys so I had to get them.