I took a HUGE step in my grieving process today and I'm quite proud of it. Either my meds are really working (which they really do not make me feel much so that could be it) or I'm actually doing a bit better. Stephen and I had the pleasure of meeting rainbow baby Anna and I held her for a while too! (we've been praying for her safe arrival for quite some time and are so thankful she made it here safely with her big brother Duncan watching over her from above) I didn't even feel the slightest bit sad, no tears, no verge of tears, nothing. It just seemed...like something that would be done. It did make me realize that in the next few months I need to up my arm muscles so when we do have a baby I can hold the baby for a long time without being in pain and that we want a baby. Now, I thought a lot about this and I think one reason why it was so easy is because, for one, Anna is a girl and another, Stephen and I have not had the chance to know what a one month old would be like. We don't know what we are missing because we've never had it. We've never had a baby that's been a month old so we can't relate. I don't know what got me through but I'm still doing okay and I'm really glad we got to meet Anna. One step closer to healing and spending some time with a cutie is always fun.
I've also been very busy getting Tycob's Boutique ready, started filling in descriptions, prices, policies, uploading new pictures and now I just need to make a few more things before the grand opening in mid-February. I cleaned the house from top to bottom (minus the storage closet, that's going to take a while) 5 bags garbage and 7 bags donation so now I have all the time ready to sew. I find sewing is very healing. I like to see the finished products, it makes me feel useful. I just wish I had little ones to use the stuff I sew, I can only pray one day. In the meantime, I can create and expand my sewing ability and perfect my skill while also healing through sewing.