So Maury is on my TV at the moment (not my choosing) my husband is bored and wanted to watch drama and of course it is about paternity tests. It really pisses me off. Some 21 year old has 5 kids, the oldest being 5 and is being tested for a 6thchild. I mean really? How come it is so easy for some people to pop out children like tic tacs (usually the ones who cannot care or provide for their children) and the ones who deserve it, want it so badly and can provide can’t? How is that fair, I don’t get it. My husband and I would lovingly take in one of those children. They fight over whether or not these children are “theirs” do they not realize how blessed they are to even have a child in their life, do they not realize some people struggle to bring a child into their life, even one that is not biologically theirs? Seriously people….
I also wonder who lets their child run around the neighbourhood trying to kill birds. There was some kid at our neighbours house this morning (our neighbours weren’t there) and he was trying to jump up and knock down the birds nest, when that wasn’t successful he started throwing rocks then bricks at the house, we were going down to say something because we didn’t want him to hurt the birds or ruin their house but an older lady was walking by and dealt with the situation very nicely. She was very patient with him and he stopped thankfully.
Today was….full of information. I have to start by saying I am extremely grateful to Jen B. for crocheting our Sweet Pea outfit (Picture below) I don’t know if she realizes ho much it means to us but it is absolutely perfect. I LOVE it, it is so perfect in every way, crocheted with love just for our Sweet Pea. I cannot wait to take pictures of Matea in it, they are going to look so nice. My husband and I are so thankful to have this outfit, it may not seem like a lot to anyone else but it means so much to us. So thank you Jen.
Onto the genetics appointment. It…went. I didn’t really know what to expect so I wasn’t disappointed maybe pleasantly surprised at everything we discussed. What I guess I thought was we would talk about tests and take care of my husband and I know and the baby once she is born and that would be it but it was so much more. I know our hospital lacked care in dealing with unexpected neonatal or antenatal death (as was our case with Ty) but it sounds like this situation (prenatal hospice per say) they are much better prepared in dealing with it. We are being set up with a lot of doctors and a lot of different people to help us through. We are meeting with a social worker who deals specifically with fatal prognosis in a fetus and parents who choose to carry despite the outcome preparing birth plans, being the liaison between doctors and delivery room nurses and making sure everyone and everything is in place. We also can request an isolated room so were not near women having healthy babies and if I have to have a c-section if there aren’t private room on the mat ward then they will switch me to the ob floor. They are there to make our experience everything we want and support us so I am thankful we made the appointment, this was the support from the medical community we wanted and now we will get it. They still need a lot of work on the unexpected death aspect which we intend on being a part of. They are going to get us the contacts of the people to talk to about helping with that aspect, setting something up, telling us who we can contact to donate our memory boxes too. We need to figure out with the merger what their memory boxes include though I know there are a few things that they do not include that we thought we may want to, ie: lotion and soap incase they want to bathe the baby, two teddy bears, one for baby and one for mama, an outfit to bury the baby in incase they don’t have one or want to dress the baby, things that I know they don’t supply.
But back to the doctors. They are going to take a look back into Ty’s chromosomes and perhaps do further testing on his skin or blood and look for anything specific with kidneys or anything else. They will have our chromosomal blood tests in two weeks so we’ll go back to discuss that but they seem to think it was just another fluke accident. That makes me a bit angry, they pretty much (they didn’t really say this, but it’s how I felt) that we just have shitty luck when it comes to having our own kids. They will help us through though with all the planning and testing and if we do decide to try again they will be doing a lot more earlier on and following us closely. There was a lot discussed and I’m glad my husband was there, he was full of questions and was able to focus on what they were saying. There was just so much we talked about, not a lot can be done until they can test the baby, but for now they can test us and get that out of the way with. The ladies were both really nice, I remember the counselor from the day we found out about Matea and the doctor we met with was really nice and compassionate, I guess because they deal with this a lot more often they are use to being more compassionate. The OB’s focus on medical aspects (which I understand and am thankful for, especially with the issue with my placenta) and the genetics and social workers are more on the compassionate side of things so it sounds like our overall care will be great and if we decide to try again we will also get better care at that point. So it was a good day at the doctors. I’m glad to know we will be receiving great care this time around, just need to work on promoting better care of the unexpected situations (as was our case with Ty)
We went to the mall afterwards to pick up a gift for a wedding and as we were sitting eating I almost lost it for some reason, I tried so hard to fight back the tears and I was able to but it was just an overwhelming sense of sadness. My husband got up to go to the bathroom and I got so panicky and felt like I was going to pass out it was scary. We also picked up a green preemie outfit incase it does turn out to be a boy (picture below) they had blue and brown but I liked the green much better. I found a few local stores that have much cheaper preemie outfits so I’m going to buy a few outfits and we’ll get a blanket for a boy and stuffed animals as well. I just want to be well prepared.
Tomorrow we are going away for the night for a wedding, it’s not far out of the city so I’m not as nervous about the traveling but I really do not like being away for the night from our cats. Right now they are the only babies we have and I feel I need to protect them at all possible costs so going away for the night for me is hard.
Our next appointment with ultrasound is on the 14th. I look forward to it, I want to ask the doctor about the pain when walking and all these headaches (I’m pretty sure because of the horrid allergy situation this year and mine are normally horrid every year, my sinuses are so swollen and hydrasense is not cutting it this time around) but I want to make sure it’s not something else. Hoping my placenta has moved up since then. We want a natural birth if possible. There’s so much to think about still….I guess we better start writing stuff out incase baby is here before we are ready.
P.S. There is a new ultrasound picture of our little Skelly (it’s of her little head) under Pictures
An extra outfit in case Matea is a boy, hopefully we'll know for sure before we deliver but just in case.
Our perfect Sweet Pea outfit, I LOVE IT!