I use to watch Family Guy but I don't anymore because it's humor sometimes can be very politically incorrect and the episode from last week really hit home. I wasn't watching it, Stephen had it on, but I was listening here and there. I know I will never again watch another episode and he may not either after what they said last night. There are somethings in life that should not be made fun of and that show pushes a lot of those issues. Last weeks episode, Peter is at the bar and a Russian guy comes over to sing and when he is done singing Peter says "boy, from the smile on his face you would never be able to tell all his children were stillborn". That's it I am done watching that show, it now has personally attacked something very sensitive and important in my life. Where do people get off being so mean and crude to others? How can someone say something so hurtful that they know the general public watches? I know that show has pushed a lot of boundaries and now it has pushed mine. I have half the mind to write to them about the subject of stillborn babies and to let them know it is by no means a laughing matter in any way what so ever. I just hope no one else saw that, I was not expecting it. In a society where most woman aren't encouraged to talk about it and are left to hide in shame and some writer has the balls to go and make fun of it? I have a few choice words for him. It caught Stephen and I off guard and it was not something we needed to hear or be reminded of. In fact it was quite disgusting. I have no respect for any of those writers anymore.
On a brighter note and a cute one at that.... we have discovered Charlie "talks" in his sleep. That cat just never stops talking, not even when he is sleeping. For anyone who has been over to our house, you know how much Charlie likes to chat you up. He now does it in his sleep as well. It's so funny to watch him sleeping, he twitches so much and now his twitches and movements correlate to his talking. I really need to get it on video, if I can catch him doing it. If it can put a smile on my face I know it can brighten your day as well. Well we're on the subject of our fur babies, Milo has also demanded we put his cat beds back in front of the vents. He LOVES to sit by the heating vents in the winter time and he is very picky about having his beds by them so he can just snuggle up all comfy and cozy and doze off into kitty dreamland. Both of our cats are very affectionate and the best thing about them, they know when were having a hard day and need extra snuggles. Not only that but there is something very special about Milo. He can sense Ty and possibly Jacob we haven't figured that one out yet but Ty for sure. After Ty passed away Milo started doing this thing where he would look at the ceiling like there was something there and he did it a lot. We thought it was bugs but we never found anything. He continues to do it so we really believe he can sense Ty's presence which is why we think Jacob is outside our living room window because he does the same thing, he stares at it like he sees something but there is nothing there. Nothing we can see at least. He'll stare for a few moments then get this look of pure serenity in his eyes like he was having a peaceful conversation with them. It's very strange and I didn't believe it at first but now I am sure Milo can most certainly sense Ty's presence. I wonder if other peoples cats do this after a loved one passes....
Today was....a day. It is getting so hard to get out of bed. I find I'm going to bed later, getting up later and not showering until mid afternoon (at least I am still showering every day). We didn't end up going to church today, I'm thinking we won't until we get on a routine schedule. It's just so hard to HAVE to do things. It's not horrible, I mean we need that to get us up and out but somedays it just seems like an insurmountable task. Maybe in a few weeks things will start to get better, maybe I will want to get up out of bed, maybe I will want to go places, see people, do things....I really hope so because the way things are going right now takes up more energy then actually having things to do. Grieving is exhausting, it drains so much energy, I never feel like I can get enough sleep. I never feel like I can even go out to get groceries I am so tired. I'm trying to work on getting healthy. We try to go for walks everyday when its not pouring, I am trying to make sure to drink a lot of water, I am trying to eat.....healthy...my focus is on getting back in shape but I have two more weeks before I can exercise beyond walking. I hope once I start doing that I feel better. Until then, walks, water and sleep.