I don't know what it was about yesterday but I had a very sad day. I had tears in my eyes all day. It could be hormone related I guess, but whatever it was really set me off. I just couldn't shake it. Even the day before I felt...different. Today I'm back to normal, or what I define as my new normal. Given, my sewing machine Betsy did not co-operate with today's plans. I had two big piles of burp cloths to sew and I got through 5....Betsy kept throwing fits so I finally gave up, took her apart and gave her a good oiling. She worked okay after that but I fought with her all day I didn't have it in me to finish my huge pile...maybe tomorrow.
However, as my frustration grew (this is not the first time it has happened) my husband informed me that for Mother's Day Betsy will most likely be replaced with a Betsy 2.0. This excites me! I'm not going to get a cheap $70 one either (I guess I got what I paid for) She's done well the last year and maybe will do okay for small jobs but I'm a sewing mama now, I need reliable good machines. Serge will have to wait but if I can get something a bit better than Betsy I will be pleased. Sewing has really become therapeutic for me and I love to learn and teach myself new things. I'm still at the basics but I hope to start soon on pj pants and other clothes.
So back to yesterday....I had a sad day and the boys obviously knew I was having a sad day because on our way our of Superstore (which we're in like every other day) we always pass the flowers and they never have carnations. Well yesterday they not only had white they had yellow and only one bouquet of each. The significance of yellow and white carnations: Ty is buried with white and we had them as our wedding centre piece in memory of him and Jacob is buried with yellow. It was like their little way of saying hi mommy, have a better day. Of course I bought them and I stand and smell them all day long. I was just shocked on all the days we have gone past the flower section and they NEVER had any colour of carnations, they had 3 bunches left and two of them were the boys colours. I just know they were from my boys.
They've also been sending signs of future babies. I have gotten so many Noah signs lately but strangely, when I dream, I dream about Matea and having a little girl. I hope this is not the boys way of telling us we'll end up with twins. I'll be fine if it is but all I care about is bringing home a healthy, living, breathing baby. I think we are going to push back our 6 month check up. We're no where near ready to even take that on. I'm still dealing with loosing the baby weight, my thyroid refuses to settle down and I have to have my stress test. I also need to get back to work before any plans of a baby are made. We also need to know if Stephen has a permanent job or not....and I'd really LOVE to be able to move if we can find the money to afford it. Give me a day or two and I'll post a picture of reason #67 we need to move...I'll give you a hint....squirrel in the living room. This is going to be epic when he chews his way through!
Alright, even though I don't want to I should get back to sewing, I have a ton of burp cloths left to sew.....
Flowers from my boys
Pile of burp cloths I had to do and temperamental Betsy to the left
The best way to spend a Saturday afternoon...snuggling with my Choo